it's hard to say how I feel depressed & upset ain't enough to explain how I feel is there a reason for my pain did I do something wrong or is it a curse I was born a man but feel and felt like a woman all my life it's destroying me not to let it out how can I control this how can I stop it
No, it's not a curse. Many people feel the way you do, not everyone born male grows up to be a man. If you feel you're a woman, you can be a woman. I have almost no similar experience, but, from reading what transgender and genderqueer people say, it can be really hard to accept your gender identity and to come out to other people. The internet is a nice place to find understanding people... That's a good first step. Good luck.
I know what you're going through. I've been there, and I'm still going through a lot of the awkwardness. First and foremost, you're not alone. And you didn't do anything wrong. You're not cursed. I know you want to stop it. I think we all do at some point or another. But I don't think it's something that can be stopped. If you're a woman, you're a woman, no matter what parts you were born with. The best way to get rid of these feelings, the pain, is to come to terms with who you are, I think. Accept yourself for the woman you are. We live in a very hetero- and cis-normative world, but that doesn't mean that it's wrong, being sexed one way and gendered another. Find your sources of support, and be the woman you were meant to be. (*hug*)
There's no curse. It's just part of discovering yourself, so like what was already said you should accept yourself the way you are (i.e. mentally a woman), because at the end of the day you're the one to define your gender and not anyone else. -Emulator