I know a lot of people who immediately jump into HRT when they begin their transition. I know I am trans*, and I am 100% certain I want to present as more masculine, as well as a name change and coming out and top surgery at some point. I am still having issues with whether or not I want to immediately get on T. I have heard it go both ways. People recommending I wait as long as I possibly can before starting T, and people recommending I start T as soon as possible. OF COURSE I want the things T can offer me but is it weird that I am soooo nervous about it and doubting myself with getting on T? I am so sure about it until I think of myself at ages 40, 50, 60... and then I get sick. I don't want to picture myself that age as either gender. and that's what is keeping me from committing to T. :bang:
Considering that going on T and beginning transition is a daunting process- everyone considering it has probably had their doubts. I have doubts, especially since it'll be some time before I can begin HRT (I'm hoping to see a gender therapist within the next few months and get the necessary referrals for an endo). Irreversible changes involved. Personally, don't think there is a right or wrong time. You have people who know it's for them as soon as they figure out they're trans*, others who wait until they've got no other option. Just as long as you know what to expect, can go into it with realistic expectations about what it can or can't do, and feel it's the best option for you, then it should pan out just fine. T isn't a prerequest to being FtM. Sure you might have heard of Ryan Cassata. Musician, transguy. Got top surgery but never went on T. Still lives out as male and he's found a way to be comfortable enough despite it for the time being. So if you find T isn't for you, no worries. Doesn't invalidate your identity. As for growing older- I'll admit I'm stuck. I can understand the hesitation. Transitioning, it's often easy to worry about the future and I myself worry about detransitioning or regretting transition since I find similiar difficulty conceptualizing myself aging. But keep in mind, you have no rush to decide anything tomorrow. Whole life ahead. And eventually, you'll figure out how best to live it.
