Am I FTM?

I agree 110% that menstruation is nothing to shake a stick at. It fucking blows.

Well, as far as possibly being FtM, you have to ask yourself some questions.

--Do I actually want to be acknowledged as a man?

--Can I call myself a man out loud when I look at myself in the mirror?

And probably the most important one:

--Am I willing to make this transition?

Transitioning, at least from what I'm experiencing so far, is fucking hard. But I can say that it sounds to me like you could be FtM. You could look on YouTube and check out some videos from FtM's talking about when they realized they were trans. That helped me a lot.

I first had an idea that I was trans when I saw Pocahontas for the first time as a kid and realizing that I wanted to be John Smith. I also started wondering why I wasn't allowed to run around with my shirt off after that. However, I didn't even know that there was such thing as being trans when I was a kid, so I just figured I wouldn't question it.

If you need someone to talk to about this, you can leave a message on my wall. I'd be happy to help you out if I can.

 

Having transitioned a long time ago (in the opposite direction,) I would just say try it, and see if you like it. Though perhaps you have already. Be open to your real feelings of comfort and intuition.

When I say try it, i mean the simple things that don't require surgery nor hormones. Bind the breasts, dress up in boy clothes, and go out and about doing some day to day life stuff; may be socialising in some open minded places, with good people, and see how you feel; do you feel more comfortable presenting a masculine image or a feminine image? Would you be happy to look like a masculine girl, or would you feel awkward being masculine unless people perceived you as a man?

Find a good psychiatrist to help you explore this.

For me; when I was a boy, I always felt awkward that I was a bit too feminine, and I felt self conscious about it. When I started dressing full time as female, for me it was letting go of worrying about being feminine, and just doing what I wanted to do. I'm not saying that transitioning was the right thing to do for me, but at the time it seemed to be right. Perhaps I could have just remained a feminine man, and learnt how to be more comfortable in that role.

The problem occurs, when a person transitions, well several months or years after they transition, they can find themselves always giving thought to whether or not they are looking correct for the new gender. For an MTF, for example, makeup can become an obsession, because a person may think that if they do not do everything they can each day to look female, then someone may see them and realise that they are trans. A genetic girl does not have to worry about putting on makeup when going shopping, she knows her sex, and everyone can tell - she has a natural authenticity (Girls put makeup on to look pretty, MTF put make up on to look like a woman.) A trans woman, may worry if they had to rush out of the house one day, and did not have time to put on the makeup, and they might avoid certain situations to prevent problems - for example avoiding public toilets just in case they are spotted as trans and receive problems.

I think what I am trying to say, is that a person needs to find something that will be comfortable for them, long term, and they need to feel authentic in their role, not just feel like a stranger trying to pretend to fit in.