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Am I transgender

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Penguins old, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. Penguins old

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    I am a 13 year old boy but I have always felt like I should have been a girl. When I was little (below 5) I was friends with a lot of girls until I was told it was wierd. When I was about 7-9 I always caught myself watching girls program's even though I didn't really enjoy them. Whenever I play a game with character customisation I make it a girl and have been told that this is wierd aswel. Over the last year or 2 I have really wanted to become a girl. Is that normal? And a few months ago I googled what it might mean and it said that I could be transgender. Also I don't get out of the house much and watch YouTube and play video games mostly. When I was around 6 we went to a friends house and I put on some of her clothes and it didn't feel wierd to wear. I don't masterbate which is apparently normal for boys my age. At the moment i just work in school and daydream and wait for the day to be over so i can get home. I am also not very popular at school and i only feel like i can talk to people online about stuff like this. If I am I don't know how I would tell anyone and I don't think I could live with all the bullying from school if I told anyone there. I don't think my parents and family would like it. Has anyone got any advice to help me. It coul be nothing but I just want to be sure. Thanks
     
    #1 Penguins old, Sep 12, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2013
  2. Just Jess

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    There's only one person out there who can tell you whether or not you are. So let me go ahead and ask.

    Are you really a girl?

    Maybe try both answers on for size, out loud, see how they feel.

    In the meantime, does your friend know about you trying on her clothes? If she doesn't but she seems like the kind of person who would understand, it might be good to tell her. Having friends is really valuable if you are in any way different.

    Either way welcome to EC :slight_smile:
     
  3. RainDreamer

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    Maybe, maybe not. The thing here is, the only true answer that you will get will be one from yourself. We can help you clear your confusions, but we can't answer the question for you. You don't have to try to find any kind of justification to be who you are - if you are a girl, you are a girl- no one have any rights to tell you otherwise, just look inside and search for your true self. Whatever you find there, don't lie to yourself. It will be painful later on.
     
  4. Penguins old

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    I don't know that girl anymore and I don't think she knows. But I have alway felt like I should be a girl.
     
  5. Just Jess

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    Well if you feel that way, there are some steps you can take. Some of them are hard to do without anyone else in your life helping you or that you feel safe talking to though.

    It is natural for some of us that were born boys to want to be girls to answer your other question. It is unusual, but it does happen.

    I know you've been told it's weird, but does it feel weird when you play video games and your character is a woman?
     
  6. Penguins old

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    It feels normal that is the way I do everything unless I could be bullied about it
     
  7. June Cleaver

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    For me when I was about 5 my mother had to sit me down and tell me I was not a girl like her, but a boy like dad. It was a total blow to me and it did no good as I have always been female inside and always will be. I am trans MtoF by the way. I think you should know whether you just want to be a girl or know you are a girl. June
     
  8. Penguins old

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    No it doesn't feel wierd playing as a woman I do it in most of my games and I just do what feels right unless I think it could lead to me being bullied since I was bullied when I was little

    ---------- Post added 13th Sep 2013 at 09:54 PM ----------

    This might be totally random but my mum is disabled and a few years before I was born she had a miscarriage and the doctors said it could mean that she couldn't have boys/girls and then I was born then my brother. Is it possible that a female brain developed and then put into me somehow or is that impossible.
     
  9. Just Jess

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    Sorry this is going to be long, you hit on something I like to talk about a lot :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: If you want you can skip down to where I have a lot of ********s and I'll give you a quicker answer to your question.

    ########################################

    Well if you're interested in the science this gets a little complicated. But we only know so much about this stuff.

    Basically, and you might have been over this in school, but everyone starts out more or less a girl. There's a gene in the Y chromosome (it's called the SRY gene if you want to google it and learn more about it) that takes what would become your ovaries, and turns them into, well, balls instead.

    So after that SRY gene does its thing, you start making testosterone (a boy hormone), and that boy hormone turns the rest of you into a boy. If it's not there, you start making estrogen (a girl hormone), and turn into a girl.

    The tricky part is, every body part you have has to be ready to turn into either a girl or a boy. Imagine testosterone and estrogen are like the hot and cold water knobs on a faucet. Your body parts will feel the temperature of that water, and that will tell them whether to turn into boy parts or girl parts. If it's hot, boy. If it's cold, girl. The tricky part is, everyone makes testosterone AND estrogen, so the water's never boiling or freezing, and no one is completely boy or girl. But usually there's enough of a difference that things work out the way they're supposed to.

    So we know that some body parts read these signals wrong. Also, sometimes things get messed up and these signals aren't there when they're supposed to be. And so what happens, is that parts don't end up growing quite the right way. A good example is a condition called Hypospadias. See girls have a different tube that they pee out of, where with boys everything gets fused together into one tube. Well with this condition, someone born with a penis has a different tube they pee out of instead.

    So some people think that one of those parts that can end up growing differently is the brain. We know for a fact that boy and girl hormones do different things to the brain. An example, is the boy hormone will make anyone, boy or girl, horny. So some people think that people like me, had a point when we were still babies, and our brains either said "no way" to the boy hormone, or didn't get enough. Some people think that can have an effect on whether a baby ends up gay or straight too. We also know that when a brain has had a lot of boy hormones or girl hormones, parts of it are physically different, like they'll be bigger or smaller.

    Also, after people are born, they're still changing and growing. There are parts of your skull that don't even exist until a long time after you're born. And the stuff you learn early on becomes really hard to change, ever. So it's possible that even if someone wasn't born with a female brain, they may end up with one before they're done growing.

    *****************************************************

    So to answer your question, I personally think it is possible that you have a female brain. But a lot of doctors and scientists are still learning more and more about this kind of stuff. I think it's really interesting.

    The thing is, whether or not you are a girl now, is really something only you can decide. You're going to have to take a hard look at yourself. It's not an easy decision.

    And even if you decide that, based on what you know about you, you really are a girl, and maybe always have been one, you have another tough decision to make. That's whether or not to be a girl or boy on the outside.

    Some of us that are mismatched, it's really hard on us. They call this feeling "gender dysphoria", and it gets really really bad, to the point where we really have to do something about it. That's not always a good thing, because sometimes when we get to that point, we're already married and have jobs and people depending on us.

    Some other people (one of my friends here in fact) try to fix the mismatch, and then end up finding out they can go back to being a boy. That's okay if it ever happens.

    What keeps the people that decide they need to change, from changing for so long, and makes them live as boys or girls even when they know they shouldn't, is exactly what you're feeling. They're afraid to be bullied. Grown ups get bullied too, just in different ways. Sometimes we get fired from our jobs for instance.

    So that's why it's important, if you decide you're a girl and you want to change into one on the outside, that you make friends that know this about you, that have your back. We call this a "support system". You need one if you find out you like boys before you change or girls after you change too.

    But one think you should know is that there are a lot of people just like you out there, and sometimes, if you like yourself and show it, then it gives them courage to be themselves too. And that keeps you from being bullied. So you've really got to figure out a way to feel good about yourself even if people are picking on you. I play video games.

    I hope some of this has helped :slight_smile:
     
  10. Romy J

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    Ooh! Cassie hit my fave subject...science of things. :slight_smile:. There is a little more to it than what she said. The science (recently) has gotten even better. Although, due to there still being stigma for being Trans, some things aren't studied as well as they should be.

    Anyway...

    For one example (which Cassie partially covered), there is a difference in the brain structure in a relatively small study. Certain area's that were larger or smaller depended on the sex that the person identified as (MtF more resembled a cisfemale brain, and vice versa...pre-HRT).

    Another thing that has also been discovered (which is something I've been looking more into because it could relate to me) is there is something to genetics in some members of the Trans community. Common practice science dictates that males have XY chromosomes, while females have XX chromosomes. However, thanks to better technology, that's not true for all. There are some that have what is know as the 46,XX disorder of sexual development (bah! Big terms!). Basically, the SRY gene (or Y chromosomes as it were) put their code on top of the second X gene that would make a person female.

    And one last thing...I can't remember the name of it, but it's right along with that last bit. Some even have an extra gene now (from what I've read). So, instead of being XX or XY, there are some people running around with XXY genes, or even XXXY genes. There are even a few recognizable traits to go along with these genomes, but the only way to know for sure is a specific DNA test.

    In case anyone is curious about those traits, I'll use myself as an example (though I've had no testing done). Typically those with this sequence end up a little taller than their bloodline (in my case, I'm 6'3" while my parents were around 5'5"). They are usually born male (keep in mind, research is very limited because of so many being closeted to this day). Finally, during puberty, while most guys will end up with firm pectoral muscles (depending on relative health, physical shape and all that), those with this gene sequence usually will end up with a bit softer pectoral (in my case, I actually had little pockets of milk produce on and around my aeroela).

    I think I've gone on long enough though. Lol
     
  11. Penguins old

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    Thanks for the replies I think I might be but I think I will give it time and if I feel the same then I will start to tell people but how would I do it? I know my parents wouldn't like it.