Pronouns

Yep. Happens from time to time.

 

I've gone through 2-3 years of gender confusion. Intense confusion, at that. So while I'm totally okay with being "ze" or "Hir", I'm also totally fine if people label me as "he" or "him" because I really don't want to put them through the confusion I had in those years.

 

Yeah, even I mess up my own pronouns. But I definitely prefer being referred to as male, so all just a matter of being referred to one as a new thing. Give yourself credit, man. You've had fifteen years of having female pronouns used on you, takes time to get used to what feels right.

 

yep, usually people I'm not out to yet... I misgender myself just to avoid explaining...

 

It happens to me even with people I'm out to! Its just a part of socializing as that gender for so long, it's in my head just like it's in the heads of the people who knew me for years and years as that gender. Be patient with yourself. It happens on accident, or to avoid explaining, or because you're subconsciously insecure at that moment.

 

I do this sometimes too. I'm glad to hear that I am not the only person that does this..

 

Oh, I do often. Sometimes to the point where I even forget that I go by male pronouns and if someone accidentally misgenders me, I don't even pick up on it.

I guess that's what I'm used to after seventeen years of female pronouns.

 

Sometimes I stumble over my words a lot, but that's only because I try to talk about myself w/o using any pronouns. I guess it helps me have some empathy for my friends struggling to feel comfortable using male pronouns. It's different and take time to get used to.

 

I have a strong dislike for pronouns outside of the fact they make writing easier. I never know what to call myself as a sort of androgynous person and saying "I'm a girl" just doesn't feel right...

 

Actually, on my voicemail, I once used the first person plural...

 

I absolutely hate when people use masculine pronouns to refer to me in conversation.

My family still does it, and it's very irritating. They're still adjusting, though, so I guess that's excusable.

I still don't like it. Meh. :dry:

Anyway, I never have any problem with pronouns. I've never "mis-gendered" myself, but I don't correct people. I just let it be, because I don't enjoy answering questions from prying individuals.

 

This happens sometimes with me, specially when I back to my house after visiting my mother (I'm not out to her yet), but even if I use the wrong pronouns to refer to myself, it feels weird.

 

It happens to me too. Though I try to avoid using any pronouns when referring to myself around anyone. It just feels wrong when I use female pronouns.

 

I did it a bit when I was at a crossroads of being open and stuck in the closet. It sucked.

 

I've come to mentally gender myself properly now. I've also managed to avoid referring to myself as a man completely over the last year, but I had a number of mental slip-ups until the last couple of months. It takes to time to undo all the bullshit programming. Try giving yourself a mental pat on the back when you get it right, rather than being sad about when you slip up. Chances are you get it right most of the time.

 

It took about 6 months to break out of the habit of calling myself the wrong gender. Just like any behavior, it takes time and practice. If it's this hard for you to change your own behavior, imagine how difficult it must be for some of your friends and family. Patience with yourself and others is incredibly important.

 

I tend to slip up with pronouns when I'm really tired. I wouldn't fret over it too much though; we all have that awkward adjusting period. In my first 2 months I would even slip on my name. X_X

 

Yep, I've experienced both misgendering myself and not noticing when someone else misgenders me. It's pretty awful. I feel like my mind's betraying me, and of course it causes all sorts of trouble with not feeling "trans* enough." Le sigh.

 

When I'm talking with people I'm out to, I refer to myself as male. Since I'm pre-T, they think I'm nuts.:dry: But I sometimes refer to myself as "she" in my thoughts, and end up arguing with my own brain. The voice in my head is pretty masculine, but it occasionally reverts to a female voice. I think you just have to get used to using the right pronouns, like the rest of the people you've come out to...