hi I'm sorry for the bad spelling but i have a learning diffultes and I'm really scared a bit in between my self and wondering if you might be able to help. I was born a boy but from a early age felt different i fancied men and didn't like the look and feel of my own body. but i knew this was frowned upon so hide but small thing would always show through always had more female friends than male i could relate better with women, did little girly things like try makeup mummy clothes when i was little but was told no your a boy not a girl and then around 9 and 10 i started fanicing boys and not girls never really what what you would call a girlfriend and where i grow up it wasn't excepted to be different i.e bi,gay and a lesbian or being different and was dangerous too your could have be beating up shot staded and I'm not joking so i hide, conformed to what i felt that they wanted me to be. i grow up trying to do what i thought were manly things and tried to fit in and i still felt different i tried to have girlfriends but they never worked out i tried having sexual relationships but it didn't feel right it felt wrong not natural wasn't until i moved away from home i really started to suffer i closed my self off had few friend whom mostly were female looked a female clothing and though just for a instant i'd look nice in that then i snap back saying no that's not right looking at men and thinking he's looks fit and sexy it wasn't until i was 23 thing got really bad my life/world started to fall apart i started to looking into my self and thinking to myself i might be gay as i thought that that's what gay men did as i saw it on TV, movies when i was growing up. that when thing starting to feel that i was going in the right direction i started being more fenime started seeing men i have a bf now and i love him but i still didn't feel right inside me and over the years i tried to fit in and then things started falling a part again now im 32 and over the past year been thinking to my looking at my body and saying it not right im not right i have started looking and tring to find out whats going on and more and more i look i read i see in my mind im a woman and a man but my body is saying something else i have started coming to terms with this but im still scared and shy and feel somewhat alone i told my best friend today and she's said she would help me and was very supportive avd i felt a little wieght been lift but i know i have a long way to go yet and was wondering is there and advice help sites you could point in to as i tried looking i would apprecate it a lot and im thanking you in advance
