Tonight I had the first of many coming-out talks I'll be having, with a close friend whom I've known for close to 20 years. He first made sure that he had his terms and definitions correct, then simply said "Wow". I'm now officially out to 2 people I never see (friends who live out of state) and one close friend I see a lot. Well, two if you count his wife. I couldn't ask him to help me keep this from my wife AND his. Overall, I couldn't be happier with how open and accepting he was, and within minutes we were sharing a laugh over how he needs to stop casually referring to me as "man". I told him until I pick a new name and start using it, "man" is fine for now, and even if you slip up sometimes in the future I totally understand. Overall, it was wonderful. I cried and wasn't ashamed of it, we laughed, and I got a great hug at the end. It felt so amazing to open up to someone who's known me since grade school, someone who could trace back in their memory and realize that they've seen hints and clues all along. My favorite thing now is the fact that when I told two of my three friends, they said "I'm not that surprised". It had a validating effect. Now I'm looking forward to the first time someone tells me I'll make a pretty woman, even if it's just being nice. This is feeling more and more right, but my moments of fear and doubt are still very present, and getting more potent with every person I tell. It's as if the more real I make it, the more it tries to mess with me. Classic internal tug-of-war. This time though, the girl's going to win. I can feel it. Thanks again for reading. Oh, and I'm kinda stuck between Chloe and Emily for my new name. Still working on it.
That's awesome! I'm glad you have such a supportive friend, it can make a world of difference. I only hope that I can start being brave like you and come out to more people. Both names are nice, but I like Emily better. Good luck on the rest of your journey! ^_^
