For a long time, I have sorta fallen myself into this odd unisex picture. But the more and more I look at myself, the more and more I realized the picture of who i am in the mirror isn't who I feel I am. I guess this is more of a personal coming out as transgender. I want to be able to do more about my personal image. I got myself a breast binder, which I really do like and it really has made me happy because my clothes finally look the way I want them to look. And I found some makeup videos and tips, on how to fill in more masculine features for myself. But here comes the one thing, I'm scared to do so. Because my family thinks I'm just confused. My family, more or less the relatives I'm living with are absolutely disgusted by people who don't know what they are. They think that they are gross. So, what if one day I decide to actually do the makeup and make myself finally look like the man I want to be? They'll judge me. I don't know what to do. Because even my sister who is a little more supportive, would absolutely reject me. But I want to be able to look in the mirror and finally be happy. I was so happy that my clothes finally look the way I want, but now I want to look...you know. When I go out, I want to be fabulous too.
At the end of the day, you need to do what feels right for you. For a time, your parents and family can be unsupportive, but if they really cared for you they will eventually come around. Just try to do what is good for yourself, and they should follow suit for you.
I was so happy that day looking in the mirror. All my boyish clothes for once look like they belonged on the right body. And just seeing the techniques of how to use makeup to make me look the way I...am excited. ha.
