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My boyfriend is bigender

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Rolypolypaulie, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. Rolypolypaulie

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    Hi guys. My boyfriend recently discovered that he is bigender, and he's had to deal with a lot of abuse in the past by various people (including ftms who told him that he's an embarrassment to the trans community and that his gender isn't 'real'). He's very depressed and he doesn't like himself at all and it hurts me to watch him suffer. I want to help. Is there any way I can convince him that it's okay to be the way he is? He feels so isolated and alone.
     
  2. Daydreamer1

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    I'm sorry to hear about this, especially all the shit he's been through. My advice isn't the best, but the most I can suggest is to be there for him and support him in any way you can. Be loving and do your best to reassure him that things will be okay.
     
  3. Techno Kid

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    I think the best thing to do is continue to support your partner during their journey. = )
    also maybe tell them about this site. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Techno Kid, Sep 25, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2013
  4. JustAnotherSoul

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    Advocate! For me, it makes all the difference when people speak up for me, especially by correcting others who use the wrong pronouns, because often I don't feel comfortable speaking up. Your boyfriend (have you checked that he's still comfortable with that term?) might not feel like he should constantly be bringing up his gender or trans* stuff, you're his voice for things he wants to say but can't. It's up to you however, to talk to him to figure out what that all may be.

    It's also important to be flexible and allow him to be fluid- not only in his gender, but in his perception of it and his comfort level surrounding it. Let him set the pace on the gender stuff, and try to follow his lead smoothly and quickly, keeping in mind that it might be a roller coaster for a little while as he sorts out this new identity.