Happy Shout Out: Father with genderqueer son

I just want to share this story because…well…I think I want to give my boss a hug, but it’d be a little unprofessional. So I just want to say…he’s awesome for being so open.

The president/CEO of the company I work for is a very religious Muslim man. However he has no problem with me being lesbian, I think it’s because he is young, he is in his mid 30s. Also I think he just likes lesbians…but I digress.

Recently he started inviting me to get to know his family and invited me and my partner to his son’s birthday party etc. He also plans on attending our wedding and has been getting on my nerves about when our engagement party is. I tend to laugh, but he has been very friendly with me.

I discovered why while visiting his home one evening. His youngest son has been displaying signs of….being genderqueer. I’ve tried to read as much as I could online, but there isn’t a wealth of information, especially on children. My boss has been asking me how to handle things as he doesn't want to hurt his son. I’m the only gay person he knows and he thinks I know everything.

I don’t. I am not qualified to give direction on these matters.

His son won’t let them cut his hair, wants to be Rapunzel, prefers barbies over trucks, and has recently adopted a more feminine form of his name (we call him “Izzie”), all of which his parents are fine with. While visiting, I noticed he liked wraps around his waist and had those little ponytail holders in his hair.

He said his son’s teacher said not to think anything yet, but…he hasn’t changed since he was 3.

They have let him be himself so far, the only time they ever “pushed” him to be boyish was at this 5th birthday party when they didn’t let him get the Barbie cake he wanted and he had to wear a suit. He got away with a dark pink shirt though. I actually felt so bad, because when he was blowing out the candles he was sooooo upset with his dinosaur cake.

I don’t know how to help his dad, who seems perfectly fine with how his son is. He won’t go to other groups and organizations for information and just asks me.
“Is this okay”
“Should I let him get the Brave Barbie doll?”
“His hair is really long.”
“Look at this picture” (showing me his son with bows in his hair smiling)

I admire my boss for not pushing his son to be more like his older brother, and not forcing him to act a certain way, in accord with his religion and culture. Also I think its pretty cool he is asking me to be around, though I can't do much in way of assistance.

Okay…that was my happy shout out for the day.

 

No I wasnt looking for advice. Just giving a happy shout-out to him. I know it has to be hard, because of his background, to accept his son and I'm glad he is.

Um...I told him I don't know much of anything about it. He doesn't care, he just keeps asking lol. I mentioned there were a lot of things online he could read, but...I don't think he is comfortable with it.