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Slowly moving backward into the closet......help?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Tom not Tim, Oct 2, 2013.

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  1. Tom not Tim

    Tom not Tim
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Saint Quentin, France
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey guys,
    so I've moved to a new country, new city, new life you know the works. I've been here for some time now, and there isn't really an active 'gay community' or life. TO be honest, people here seem to just live, which is great and I like that. But I'm feeling a bit lonely in that I'm the only gay person I know.
    Btw, ****** or anything else similar is not an option...

    To top of my problem, I'm not 'gaydar-ringing-beep-beep-beep' obvious gay. I have come out so if someone asks me I'll tell them, but no one asks because nobody suspects it. Just to put it out there, I've always been a 'one-of-the-boys' type of person, in other words I've always hung out with straght guys and most people would fit me in that group. Coming out didn't change my personality. So yea, the people I have told have been rather surprised because they didnt suspect a thing.

    I'm not one of those people that feels as if I should disclose my sexuality upon meeting someone, I'll admit that it puts it out there in the open, but I'm not trying to advertise my sexuality. Being in a new place, I'm meeting new people everyday, I feel as if I should let them know; I'm not sure it would change anything, but how would I bring it up if it doesn't come out as a topic of conversation. I feel as if I'm slowly getting shafted back into the closet unnecessarily.

    help?
     
    #1 Tom not Tim, Oct 2, 2013
  2. Nick07

    Nick07
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    Hi,

    is it safe to be openly gay in SA? If you don't enjoy or don't have the opportunity to visit a local LGBT club, what about some tiny rainbow bracelet/button on your backpack, if you wear any?
     
    #2 Nick07, Oct 2, 2013
  3. JustAnotherSoul

    JustAnotherSoul
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Albany, NY
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I second the small rainbow token, be it on a bag, keychain, bumper sticker, whatever. It will probably do the trick. Haha, I think that's maybe my favorite thing about being trans*. It's kind of weird to be always bringing up your sexuality, but my gender (and therefore my queerness) is relevant to how people address me every day.
     
    #3 JustAnotherSoul, Oct 2, 2013
  4. born in 889

    born in 889
    Regular Member

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    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    help tell me my sexuality

    hi am 19 years old male i dont know my sexuality when i sit in my room alone these gay thoughts come through my mind that am gay but the thing is i think am striaght in real life in malls in streets i only look at girls men are nothing in real life but i like anal sex in girls is that normal and another thing i think am i have male g spot i pleasure my anus alote i hope i can screw a girl and let her put her put her finger in my but is that bi or gay or what plz tell me u know i realy like to do alote of things with girls during sex not just dick in vagina so plz answer thanks:eusa_clap
     
    #4 born in 889, Oct 2, 2013
  5. Nick07

    Nick07
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    Re: help tell me my sexuality

    In short, I don't think that makes you gay. But you should start you own thread, that way you will get more answers.
     
    #5 Nick07, Oct 2, 2013
  6. Tom not Tim

    Tom not Tim
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2012
    Messages:
    16
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    Location:
    Saint Quentin, France
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Lol born_in_889, that was so random. But I'd say don't worry about labeling yourself and enjoy life (safely) until you're more certain of yourself.

    Nick07, yes it is safe to be gay in SOuth Africa, but I also hear stories about the dangers there. Those mostly happen in ultra conservative areas/small towns and high-crime areas (shanty towns etc)

    I've moved to France, this is where I'm having this problem
     
    #6 Tom not Tim, Oct 3, 2013
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