So, I've decided to come out about my gender identity. I think the best way to do this is sending a coming out letter to people i know. This is what i came up with. To whom it may concern. So, this is my coming out letter. And yes, i'm writing this in English. Partly because i feel i'm better at expressing myself in English, and partly since there's a lot of terminology in English about this that doesn't exist in Swedish as far as i know. I'm transgender. What does that mean? There's a massive amount of stereotypes about the trans community, but if you can let go of those for a moment maybe i can explain. A transgender person is anyone who's gender identity doesn't match their physical sex. There is no real scientific consensus as to why this happens, but as far as i know it has something to do with hormone imbalances when the brain is developing. As it's a thing in the brain you can't “fix it” any more than you can “fix” homosexuality. There are tons of different kinds of identities. Bigender, agender, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. The spectrum is at least as wide as that of sexuality. But please don't think that being transgender has anything to do with sexuality. It doesn't. That's why i personally dislike the term transsexual, as it implies it has something to do with sexuality. Where am i on this weird spectrum? As it's a complex thing, i'm still in the process of figuring it out. But i'm pretty sure i'm a girl that happens to have an X and a Y chromosome. Now, i think i should explain why I've been antisocial and away from school this last month or so. It's called gender dysphoria, and most transgender people experience it in some form or other. Gender dysphoria is a feeling of discomfort with things that don't match your identity, whether they're physical or social. It usually starts becoming a real problem when puberty kicks in, for obvious reasons. My own dysphoria manifests as a mix of a terrible body image, social anxiety and depression, made worse by people using my birth-assigned name and masculine pronouns. Dysphoria is a serious issue, somewhere around 40% of transgender people in the US have attempted suicide. Trying to ignore dysphoria doesn't lead to anything good. So i'm planning to transition into living as female. This means changing my name, taking hormones, and maybe getting surgery some day. So, my new name is Samantha. I'd really appreciate if you could call me that from now on, and use female pronouns when referring to me. Dysphoria is horrible and some support would make me very happy. Also, i'm gay. Sincerely, Sam. I haven't shown it to anyone yet, and i'm just wondering what you fine folks think of it. Should i change something?
That's a really nice little summary. Best of luck with coming out to people about this. Oh and hello Sam!
Well, it is going to be awkward no matter how you do it. I feel you there. A letter seems a little impersonal though don't you think? I mean, do what you feel is right but if people are your friends then they should just accept you for you.
Well, i was thinking i would send this first so people know what's up, and then i can talk more about it afterwards with those who want to know more. It's about everyone getting to know about it on my terms. When talking in person it's much harder to get the information across in the way i want.
