I'm a ftm transgender and I've only come out to my parents, but they want to keep it secretive. I'm going to a [formal] concert soon and my mom wishes for me to dress nicely, but as a girl. I've been having some concerns about what to wear formally, and naturally, I'm not one to go for dresses, skirts or blouses. Any advice is very much appreciated!
There are "dressy" pants suits. Plenty of women don't like skirts/dresses. You could probably accessorize to make it more feminine. Your mother seems to have opinions, so ask.
I second the above. You don't need a dress to look female if you don't want others to pick up on anything. Take Hillary Clinton for example. Something like what she wears sounds like what you may be looking for. Whenever my mom wants me to dress up, I wear long skirts or dresses, past the knees and wear a pair of shorts underneath them. Then I don't feel so weird about walking around with a skirt or dress on. Also, people won't notice if you're wearing shorts under your dress/skirt as long as it isn't transparent or your short material is too thick. It also helps me not panic about sitting down or going up steps. Stuff like that. Hope this helps!
In your position, I would explain to my mom where to shove a particularly large cactus, but maybe thats just me. Wear a suit. No good will come from your parents convincing you to hide your identity. You came out, which to me suggests you intent to transition. And its clear your parents need to realise this. 'Time' will not help, I can promise you.
In your position, I would explain to my mom where to shove a particularly large cactus, but maybe thats just me. Wear a suit. No good will come from your parents convincing you to hide your identity. You came out, which to me suggests you intent to transition. And its clear your parents need to realise this. 'Time' will not help, I can promise you.
I'd second this. Will admit that this is a matter of "do as I say, not as I do" since I'd never have the fucking spine to tell my mother where to shove it. If you came out, it's not your responsibility to remain closeted to appease them. I think a general tendency of a lot of parents of trans people is to worry about "what the neighbors may think". Truth is, who's going to care if you're out there wearing a suit? No one besides your parents, that is.
I should specify that I would actually have said "go fuck yourself with a cactus" had she said this to me. I think I did actually.
Yes, definitely I'm opposed to copyrighting. P.S, this may cause temporary shock, giving you time to escape.
[YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE] Yup. All this coming from her "daughter", who's never fought back or so much as cursed in front of her. I think that'll work. "MY NAME'S NOT BETH, IT'S BYRON. I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL!! GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A CACTUS!!!" *slam door*
Brilliant. You should definitely do this. Or else, you could try the calm but deadly approach, where she says something particularly bad, not just accidental, but truly soul-killing, and you stop what you're doing, stare, and then say it quietly and forcefully. Long words work better with this approach. I tried the former, and I think it worked quite well. Sorry, OP, we've hijacked your thread. We'll take it elsewhere. But basically, don't let your parents do this to you, no good will come of it.
