This has been on my mind for ages now and I have figured I need some advice. I feel as if I am transgender but, also feel that I want to be male. I have read multiple sites and one thing I found helpful (but, opened up so many more questions) was to imagine how you see yourself in years to come. This confuses me so much, in the future I want to be female, wear make-up, female clothes, everything but, i also see myself as a guy in a gay relationship. Which makes me question being transgender because I wouldn't say I absolutely hate my male body but, some days I do. I have worn a wig and makeup in private and absolutely loved the thought of being female and knowing at a glance even though I was wearing male clothes you could have though of me as a girl, I enjoyed having long hair and had fun putting makeup on, I wore and bra and stuffed it and loved knowing it looked like I had breasts, i also tucked and looking in the mirror and not seeing a bulge in jeans satisfied me. I go shopping with female friends and get distracted imaging the clothes there on me and imagine perfect outfits in my mind. I have an obsession with going on clothes websites and making an outfit and imagining it on myself. I look back on things I have done in life and imagine myself doing the same but, as a girl and what I would be wearing and how I would have acted. I'm fine with that but, the fact that I see myself as a guy as well is just confusing like what am I. I have though about this day and night and thought maybe I only see myself in a gay relationship because being in a relationship to me is so important and having that 'other' person, so maybe I just see that because I know it's easier to find a partner being gay then it is transgendered but, I don't know. Its just to much for me to think about. So how do I know if i'm transgender and has anyone got any advice because I can't stand thinking about this all the time and getting no where.
Hi, apart from clothes... how do you see yourself? A name for example? Or breasts? Being addressed by girl's name in public? Being treated and viewed as a woman? And to your question: you will be always you. No matter how you will look like, the person you are will remain the same, with all your good and bad traits, doubts and dreams
I see myself differently every time but, a name. Well I like the name Kristi, I like it better then my name, a friend gave it to me when I apparently looked like there cousin and for a while I got that name continuously and didn't mind being called it. I was disappointing when it died off. Breasts, a lot of the time I enjoy imaging I have breast because I feel like my chest isn't supposed to be flat or that something is missing but, then at times I feel as if I don't care weather I have them or not but, like I said before there are many more times where I have somewhat of a desire to have them. I get called female all the time because of who I am around and my hair, I never correct them because I don't mind it I wouldn't say I have one I prefer but, I never correct people because I like it really I just feel it goes with my personality but, then at time I don't even then though I never correct it because I don't mind being called female. I have had people 'hold the door for the girl' or 'step out of the way for the lady' (I think its my hair and how I walk I don't know but, parents have said those things to their children when im behind them at a door or stuck behind them in a line) and I felt like someone had obliviously done something kind for me but, I feel like im being treated how I feel if that makes sense like im being treated the stereotypical way you treat a girl and I enjoy it. It sounds like im taking advantage of peoples kindness but, I feel like im being complimented as such.
It sounds like you have pretty colorful life What's the problem then? You seem to be happy and content. Do you feel like if you do something more, you will be happier? Do you want to know if there are others who feel the same way? Yes, I bet there are many here. Do you want to know if transition is the right thing to persue? I doubt that to tell the truth.
You're a human bean.... like the rest of us it sucks to be human - big time sucks. As for your gender, I would strongly suggest getting a professional to walk you through that minefield of questioning. You want much, as all humans want, the thing is not so much as to find out what you want the most in life, but to figure out what you need most in life. Wants and needs rarely are the same thing.
I personally think you might be genderfluid, or switching between genders. If your area is liberal enough, you might want to consider cross-dressing.
