Sex is physiological characteristics, ie. genitals, chromosomes. Gender is a more nebulous psychological concept about what you identify with best. bad explanation but meh.
Well the old saying goes, sex is what's between the legs, gender is what's between the ears. Gender's pretty complicated though. There's a lot that's hormonal, a lot that's learned, and no easy way to tell the difference.
I have a degree in Gender and Sexuality Studies. Technically, both are simply social constructs designed to categorize everyone -- which is awful; however, there are pros to the distinction particularly for trans people. Fe/male, hermaphrodite, etc. are the scientific terms for genitalia or "sex" which means nothing more than what is between your legs. Girl/boy, wo/man are gender terms because they signify ages of the sexes. There are many complaints out there about the incorrect, and frequently use of "girl." "Girl" actually means a prepubescent female, yet males are rarely referred to as "boys" after they are considered adults. Frankly, gender can never be genuinely defined because it is created as a control tool for the sexes. Females should be "feminine" which means "soft" in every way: physically and mentally. Males should be "masculine" which means "rough." Nobody really fits completely into either of these categories, but they are designed to oppress. Gender studies is much more than just women's rights because it examines gender expectations for males as well. Gender is helpful for trans people because they can use sex and gender in a way that breaks every rule. Please note that people should refer to them as "transgender" whether or not they are post-op because it does not require surgery to identify one way or the other. Of course because of "gender expectations" from society they experience constant fear of being "discovered" because of their physical appearance, voice, etc. This is yet another reason why I think it's important that more of society learn the difference between sex and gender so we can stop imposing ridiculous and unnatural expectations on people no matter their biology.
Kailey, that is a ton of good information first of all. It's great to have people educated in this stuff here I agree, a world without hard and fast gender boundaries, where everyone can be different and themselves without fear or pressure to live up to expectations, would be a wonderful world to live in, and is worth working toward. I would like to add that, with some transgendered people (definitely not all), there is a documented part of gender that would unfortunately persist even if there were no social gender differentiation. It's there no matter how we are raised, and for some of us it is a reality that makes life very difficult whether we do anything about it or not. A lot of experimental evidence, such as the degree and preponderance of transsexuality among people who had their physical sex modified at birth, and among some people with some intersex conditions, has led to a better understanding of the parts of sex and gender that resist both mother nature and societal pressure, and what can be done to prevent them from making a person miserable. Of course, even for those people, but especially for others who simply have a need to step outside social gender lines - why can't a man put on a dress? - making those lines more blurry helps a lot. I personally believe that making those lines more blurry will also help women as a group, who even today are put in positions where they have a lot of responsibility toward other people and little opportunity and power. Transsexuals are a small part of the transgender umbrella, but like every group under the umbrella, we have special needs that other groups don't share. So while I don't want to take away from what you said, one of those needs that some of us have, is to choose whether to use labels such as "transgender", or simply "man" or "woman". First, the labels themselves are attached to what we know about other people, and that instinctual level is where a lot of a trans person's pain comes from. So even though they are words we know for a fact are learned, they can trigger a problem we know some people are born with. Labels like that can't be imposed on people any more than a label such as "gay" can be imposed on someone. And for that reason I am going to disagree with - as a rule, although if someone chooses it that's really great - referring to people that have transitioned (I like "have transitioned" better than "post op" because, I agree, the surgery if you even have it does not make the man, woman, or person outside the binary) as transgender. A lot of us feel, once the persistent feeling of dysphoria is gone, that we can return to more meaningful parts of our lives. And when we choose to defy societal gender expectations, we're doing it to live more authentic, natural lives where we don't have to fight with ourselves. Just as gay people come out so they can be with people they love, and not to become champions of social justice, you can't expect a trans person to carry that label with them forever unless they choose it. It is true that everyone who does, who volunteers to stay with the queer community after transition, makes things better for transgendered people of all stripes. And it is very true that we sorely need as many visible people as possible. I plan on staying visible, and not just because I find myself unable to be attracted to men or the idea of being with one. But it's still a personal choice and a volunteer is always going to do more good than someone "conscripted". Again, I'm only talking about a small part of our community. Everything you said is important and valid when you're talking about all of us. I really think the goal for all us queer people is to live in a world where people can be who they are without fear. And I'm really glad people like you are out there, because I feel like we are all a lot closer because of it.
I am glad you brought up how surgery is irrelevant in terms of how one is viewed. I was already aware of that, but I didn't want my post to go on forever because it could! I often try to help explain to those who do not understand that once someone says they are transgender or use any other way of expressing that they need to be viewed, and referred to as 'that' gender. Pronouns are meaningful in these situations. If a biological male says they want to be female it is obnoxious, and rude when the listeners refuse to stop referring to them as "he." Personally, one way I have tried to inspire others to stop using pronouns in general is to refer to people as "person" or their name. I can't convince the world to stop viewing everyone and everything in defined gender terms, but it's my basic attempt. I also agree that anyone should be allowed to express themselves as they wish. I often bring up a wonderful story I read in a Soc class about "Baby X" where parents raise a child without focusing on one gender or the other. Perhaps others will appreciate it as well. http://www3.delta.edu/cmurbano/bio199/aids_sexuality/babyx.pdf I appreciate this conversation, by the way! Thank you!
