Gender Wishes

I have two ideas that spring to mind. I hope they can help you, or inspire you to better ideas.

1. Before you spend the money your parents give you...
If it's at all possible, why not try borrowing clothes from close friends and seeing which ones you feel more comfortable in, and if there's a look which can work both ways that you like?

2. I think clothing can easily be modified by accessories to help give the look that you like.

Take a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt. If you round if off with a baseball cap - that's (presumably) instant tomboy. If you were to wear a light scarf around your neck, however, and maybe a bracelet, then it's suddenly a lot more feminine.

It's a very simplistic example, I know, but if the core of your clothes can go in any direction, then it gives you a lot of flexibility and potential new looks.

All the best!

 

I generally want to be more like what I am influenced with. If I watch a show with lots of guys I wanna be a guy. If I watch a show with lots of girls I feel more like a girl.

ESPECIALLY with people who are getting lots of attention.

I just get jealous of people and then want to be them...

 

I think everyone has many aspects to their personality. The more you recognise and study about this, the easier it is to deal with life. At least in my experience.

In your case, I would recommend doing this personality test:

Personality test based on C. Jung and I. Briggs Myers type theory

It's free and really good. I learnt a LOT about myself - both positive and negative. Life makes a bit more sense now

You will get a four letter code which you can look up. For example, I am ENFP.

All the best and good luck. ^_^

 

Just a stupid question.
Is the consequence really there's the attraction towards someone first and then you wish to be the same gender? Couldn't it be quite opposite? I mean when you feel more like a girl you're attracted to girls and when you feel more like a boy your attraction is towards boys?

 

I don't think that's a stupid question at all. I was thinking that, but you expressed it a lot better than I could.

This is why I think the personality test will help.

I'm not qualified to say anything, but some of it sounds, to me like the OP wants to fit in with the group. Sometimes this can come from attraction, other times, just from a natural desire to fit in.

Perhaps gaining more understanding into that will help her understand who and what will make her happy

 

Yes, being Bigender I've felt that way for approximately 11 years. The experience I had was akin to yours, except that I only wanted to become a girl and be loved as a girl by another girl, and the intense feelings led me to bisect my life into two parts, one as a man, another as a woman, but it extends beyond that in that I really see myself as a woman outside of sexual context.

But I can't surmise whether you are Bigender or not since you haven't revealed enough information, and it can be anything, ranging from a fetish (Ie, Girlfag) to you actually being Bigender. Do you react differently to things when you dream about being a boy and with another boy? Do you have any other glaring contradictions with your behavior depending on your urges? If you can, enumerate any significant differences you notice whenever your sexual moods shift, because that will make identifying what you are a lot easier. From what you've said, it seems to be something stronger than just your sexuality, but it's hard to determine if you really are Bigender based on that...

If you are Bigender, I might as give the caveat that it's really hard, and it can be painful. The most frustrating facet of the Bigender life is the difficulty of attaining the suitable appearance for both genders. I'm an expert at it now, having lived like this for 3 years, but the initial transition can be disheartening if you don't obtain the loo you want right away. If there is a man side encroaching on you, then I think the best course is to start presenting that way anytime you're feeling that way because it'll give you relief from the dysphoria. Give yourself permission to be a guy if you are one. You'll suffer a lot less if you just be yourself. If you deny yourself that, it'll get increasingly worse.

---------- Post added 27th Oct 2013 at 04:31 AM ----------

How long have you felt like this? Inwardly, I've always demonstrated girlish behaviors at certain times, although I didn't properly identify I was trans until I was 15. In some ways my halves are so alike; in others, they're inversions of each other. Similarly, if you have distinct personas it would be that you are Bigender. The length of the desires you've had to be a guy could serve to indicate your identity. Say if you've just started having these feelings recently, I couldn't tell you, because it could be a phase for all I know, but one good sign that you're Bigender is if you're getting these feelings on a regular basis.

The threshold between a fetish and Bigender also becomes clear on how intense the feelings are. In my case, I got extremely depressed as a woman and not presenting as one, but if it was just a fetish then I wouldn't have been so emotional about it.