So a couple months ago i came out to my mom and later on talked to her if i should come out to every one else she strongly advised me not to do it. She thinks a phase because im girly so what if im girly and didn't show signs when i was little when im thinking about suicide because of these body parts i shouldn't have I know its not a phase of course she doesn't know ive been thinking of suicide but she knows im depressed and stay in my room all day. Well i told her i wanted to buy a chest binder and it totally shocked her and she said but you have such cute breast and that if i change my mind abut it they will be ruined. Jeez what do i have to to to get my point across that Im trans i mean do i have to almost die from suicide for her to get it im so tired of being who im not and I know its hard for a parent but jeez shes got 2 other daughters and a son so why cant she just have 2 sons instead of just one.I also told her that im getting depressed how all my family sees me as a girl and she went on how it doesn't matter how they see you it doesn't define who you are and I don't know how to respond because i dont want to hurt my moms feelings because i love her so much but she can make it so hard for me. So does any one have any advise to help show my mom this is not a phase and have her understand better.
Your mother will not accept you until she is forced to. And by forced, you have to go out there, come out, bind, transition, choose a name, insist she uses it. She's scared of losing you, as much as that doesn't make sense, and she's being selfish, and convincing herself she's looking out for you. And she doesn't understand the depths of your need. She probably never will. But she may come to accept you, if she has no choice.
Well, it IS hard to understand, isn't it? Someone made a post here not long ago. I believe it was a trans* person. It was about the fact that their therapist had told them that about 80% of the teenagers who claimed to have gender issues dropped the theme eventually. I can't remember the thread, but I was shocked by the statement. Your mom can view it similarly.
really i didnt know that but i dont think ill grow out of it for reasons but if a parent doesnt understand cant they at least do some research to understand better.
I would ask your mother to help you find a gender therapist. She may agree in hope that the therapist will talk you out of it and you can only benefit from the sessions if the therapist is good. They will answer your questions and help you with any issue you may experience.
I don't think that your mom is being selfish or anything like that... Maybe she's just scared? She saw you as he daughter for years and years. Two months are not enough to get used to the idea that you're actually her son. I understand that it's not easy on you, but it's hard for her, too. From what you've told it seems that she's trying. Even if it's not enough, it's definitely a start. What you need to do is try and talk to her honestly, tell her how you really feel and that her attitude hurts you. If she cares about you (and it's pretty clear that she really does) she'll try harder. Also, I think that Nick is right about the gender therapist. It would be usefull for both of you.
