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If a dick doesn't make a man a man then what does

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by MrSmooth, Oct 25, 2013.

  1. MrSmooth

    MrSmooth Guest

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    When I tell people that I really am a guy they don't believe me, I also will bring up the fact that a dick doesn't make a man a man, They always say what does then, And I never know what to say so they don't believe me,What does make a man a man. I just wish people seen me as male, I just wish I was normal guy with a penis that didn't have to go through this long drawn out process to be who I am when most other guys take advantage of the bodies that they have:icon_sad:
     
  2. SilverGirl

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    that's a pretty hard question, but i don't think cis people can answer it either, men sometimes lose their penis due to diseases or accidents, and it would be silly to say they aren't a man anymore or that they are female, i think you should try asking those people what makes a man a man and what makes a woman a woman, my therapist asked me this all the time then i turned the question to her and she could never give me a good answer, it's a hard question that most people don't even think about
     
  3. MrSmooth

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    Their just gonna say a penis makes a man a man and a vagina and breast make a female
     
  4. pokerface87

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    Having a penis does not make you a male. You look great! Be confident in who you are and don't care what other ignorant people think :slight_smile:
     
  5. Ruthven

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    I just see it as an innate sort of feeling/knowing and just is. Genitals don't matter in the whole gender of someone, and I personally go by that whatever gender(s) or non sort of gender, etc. you may be, you can have whatever genitals.

    Those people who don't believe you and are obsessed with the idea that "this set of genitals means you're this" are really not worth your time if they at least won't open their minds and try and learn that it's really not like that, you know?
     
  6. Adi

    Adi
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    XY chromosomes? :S
     
  7. Saturn7

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    Hey there.

    I know plenty of people with penises who I don't regard as 'men'.

    Who? Men who betray their friends. Men who beat their family. Men who can't cook a meal for their family. Men who won't try to defend those who need it.

    This might sound like 'classic' masculine bravado. But I'd like to point out that a person of any gender can do these things.

    Therein lies the myth of what defines a man.

    I have the whole world against me for what I believe. I am humiliated in public. Work colleagues laugh at me openly. In my view, being a man is weathering that, and coming out on the other side with my head held high.

    I'm not saying be aggressive, or rude. I'm saying be kind, gentle these are the definitions of true strength - but stand by your convictions like a rock.

    All the best :slight_smile:
     
  8. Adi

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    So then how could those be qualities that define "maleness"?
     
  9. June Cleaver

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    That he is a natural born leader, masculine, breadwinner, the rock I lean on, smells manly, he also should treat women with respect, be a shining example to those he is alpha to, excellent father, rough hands, strong, big heart, and handsome in my eyes. Those are some of the qualities I like in a man. It is the same problem men face when they have a small package. People judge them also by size.

    I run into the same issue with people on occasion in reverse. as what makes a woman? A VA-JJ and tits? NO! I just am the best woman I can be and I have found that guys just see her and admire her and even want her. I learned that long ago and roll with it, those who don't accept me I just ignore, and enjoy those who do. June
     
  10. Saturn7

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    The fact that anyone has the potential. Biology doesn't matter.

    For example, Mother Teresa is one of the women I respect the most in life. She is most definitely - the man.

    The male half of us is associated with strength - but this is an association which humans have made. We are all equal, and I believe have the same potential for strength.

    I want the OP to have this strength, believe and conviction in themselves.

    Peace.
     
  11. Filip

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    Well, of course any answer is going to be incomplete.
    But if people asked me the question, I guess my retort would be "A male brain in a female body is still a man".
    If their brains would be transported to a female body, then no one would say they suddenly turned female. Their genitals would be seen as just one characteristic of their body. And, while your brain might never have been transported, it was just equipped with the wrong body at birth.

    Again, gender is more complicated than that, but if you want a short rtort to uninformed opinions like the one you described, it might help!
     
  12. Just Jess

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    The part of you that knows you're a man, that you can't argue with, that no one can, that wouldn't change no matter what you looked like on the outside or how everyone around you acted. The part that you have to deal with, that other people don't. The part that would be thrilled if you woke up with a flat chest and a beard; women just don't think like that.

    The part of you that got you rocking some serious guns from your pic :slight_smile: That couldn't have been easy.

    That's what makes you a man.

    With other people, what I tell myself is that all they see is what it costs to go against society, and they weigh it against the benefit as they see it. They do the same kind of thinking I used to do when I was in the closet, terrified and miserable and exhausted. They can't help it, to them it's just on the surface, it isn't real. They're thinking like this is a problem in a T.V. sitcom, and they know if they just wait long enough things will go back to "normal".

    So other people, can think whatever they want. I know I'm a woman. And I know a man when I see one. You are definitely a man.
     
  13. confusednafraid

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    When dealing with insensitive people I find that it comes down to a matter of persistence but believe me I have a penis an that dont make me a man what makes a man is integrity, honour, respect and the willingness to fight for your rights, same things that make a woman. Its not what were made of that seperates us its the manner is which use these traits that makes the difference . So be persistent cause chances are your more man than them
     
  14. zuluk

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    Ignore them. Be who you wanna be.
     
  15. gravechild

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    The balls, my friend, the balls, and few people have more of those than transmen and women.

    Of course, you can argue that since gender is entirely learned, that being brought up as male, that is, adopting behaviors and appearances, would bring you closer to being male-ish, and since most people judge a person by looks first and foremost, "fake it until you make it" definitely applies.

    Trust me, as someone who isn't necessarily masculine, I definitely sense the difference in perception and treatment from males, especially more domineering ones. It's almost like you don't even exist, but if I started putting effort into looking more like society's ideal, and did a 180 with my personality, things would change very fast.

    In your case... the truth is, you're going to have to accept the fact that there are some things bio males have that you never will, though they're not everything in the long run. I don't know if you're planning hormone treatment and surgery, but if you are, a lot of transmen I've talked to say they experience an inner peace once they do, and passing becomes a lot easier for them. Again, it's more than just your physical changes, but also how you carry yourself, dress, and see yourself.
     
  16. Daydreamer1

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    Well..

    [YOUTUBE]oECIKVaz5rc[/YOUTUBE]
     
  17. MrSmooth

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    I understand I should't focus on them I just wish I was a normal guy, I wish everyone seen me as a guy like my mother it hurts that she will never see me as her son, I just wish I could express myself
     
  18. Daydreamer1

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    Some people just require more time, at least that's how I like to look at it. I have that same relationship with my parents, that they won't see me as who I am and it sucks. Time will only tell though.
     
  19. MrSmooth

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    Nah..... I'm a very religious Christian so are my parents, I know my parents it's not gone happen
     
  20. biggayguy

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    Ever watch G.I. Jane? That gal had some brass balls!