Ladies, I'm not really all that educated on this.

I am afraid that it is something you two will have to openly discuss. If you have trouble with something that she would like to experience, it will need a lot of talking and understanding from both of you.
You know what works as a trigger for you and what you want to avoid. You need to tell her and also explain to her that if you say stop, refuse to do something or if you back off it's not because of her.

There are many ways how to show dominance, it all depends on what will work for YOU. What about words? The melody of your voice? Telling her what you want her to do? Or what she is not allowed to do? If you don't want to "hold her down", you can be dominant while she is on top.

 

Remember there is a difference between 'dominant' and 'dominating' or at least, there is a slight difference in how it comes across the way you are using them.

Being dominant is just being in charge, in other words you 'doing the work' so to speak and penetrating your girlfriend would be dominant. Being dominating on the other hand would be, as you rightly say, holding her down and being more aggressive with it which you don't want to do!

As for the desire, it's all we've got! I personally would MUCH rather have vaginal sex (I think!) with a partner than anal, but since I don't have the equipment the butt is all I've got!

Not sure if that answers your question at all...

 

Hmm... that is a difficult one. This is just my honest perspective... I don't know if your gf is the same but just thought I would give mine

I like dominant men and it's not really about being penetrated, I mean I don't dislike being penetrated but more than anything specific it's about giving him everything he wants. So if he has a fantasy, then I like to be able to do that for him. Or if he's a little rough, I like to be able to accept that to give him pleasure. How sexual things actually play out... I usually leave up to him. I probably would never have sex if it were up to me to initiate. I want to be so attractive to him he just can't help himself. I want him to want me.

 

It's fascinating how different people can be In a way, that's pretty dominant, you know that, right? And sexy. :icon_bigg

 

What, really?? :O

Haha. How so? I wouldn't say that... I don't think I have a dominant bone in my body.

 

are you kidding? :lol:

So, who is in control here?

 

Hmmm, well he is, right? Because he chose me to be with him. I just like to satisfy his desires. I wanna be more beautiful than any other girl for him.

 

you, girls, are dangerous creatures :lol:

The concept above is pretty alien to me to tell the truth, I can hardly imagine myself in that role. But the "I want him to..." that's a totally different thing. That's playing with fire. Beautiful :eusa_clap :icon_bigg

 

Hmm, I don't want to MAKE him do anything, you know, I just mean, I (really) hope that he does

So I take it you are more on the dominant side? XP I'm a lil confused though. You jumbled up my head and I was like, wait, am I ACTUALLY REALLY DOMINANT?? :lol:

 

:lol: Time to explore that side of yours :lol:

Charlie, sorry for hijacking your thread. (*hug*)

 

Well as long as you take it slow and don't dive straight into the whips-and-chains 'get on the ground you B**** while I take you from behind* kind of thing you should be ok!

 

Agreed.

Besides, ice cream is a lot gentler on the skin that whips and chains.

That's my pro tip of the day.

 

I agree with everyone that you should be careful. My girlfriend was molested as a child and I was being really dominant today and I pushed her at one point, not thinking obviously :/, and she later told me it scared her. Needless to say, if we would have talked about boundaries I would have controlled myself! Have fun with your ventures, be safe! Lol.

 

Yep.. boundaries are important. Decide on a safe word for you and your partner!

 

Seconded.

I have a friend who's massively into roleplay and stuff with her partner. When I asked her about it, she told me that it was really important to have a safe word before playing with anything like that.

This is really good advice.