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dysphoria, trans doubts getting worse - please help

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by anonym, Oct 29, 2013.

  1. anonym

    anonym Guest

    I have posted quite recently about my doubts on not feeling trans enough but things are getting worse. I know I am not a woman. When I am around women, it reinforces that I'm not one of them. I feel extremely uncomfortable about my body and I seem to have developed some sort of anxiety about all things feminine. In fact, women in general make me feel a bit sick :icon_sad:

    I thought I had figured out that I'm ftm. I wanted to become male, cut my hair short, change my name, get surgery, wear men's clothes, grow a beard etc. There was always this feeling though - am I trans enough? The few people I am out to don't believe I'm trans because I don't exactly fit the stereotype of a 'straight man'. In many ways I agree. I don't generally get along with men unless they're quite feminine because we have nothing to talk about. But I thought maybe I'm just a feminine ftm?

    The problem I have now is I still feel I am trans - the dysphoria is unbearable - but the idea of becoming a man makes me feel physically sick. It was like it was all just a fantasy. The idea of having my hair cut short, wearing shirts and ties, body hair, it all just makes me feel ill :icon_sad: I just don't know what to do. I hate being a woman and I'm suffering with that but I don't want to become a man either, or genderqueer. I honestly believe I am a man but the thought of becoming one just doesn't make me feel good at all. It makes me feel yukky. Even if I'm between genders, the dysphoria still means I need to cut my hair short, get surgery, wear guys clothes - I hate all of it. Please can anyone help me understand what's going on?:confused:
     
  2. Nick07

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    The dysphoria will most likely go away eventually if you learn how to cope.
    You don't need a transition to be trans. You don't even need to want it. It's completely your decision. *hug*

    This will sound silly but you can try:
    imagine yourself little, inside your body. This little you knows how she/he feels. No one can see this little you, the body is just her/his shell, the home. Make this little person feel loved and protected, no matter how the "home" looks. Make this little you your ally.

    I told you it would soud silly. :slight_smile: But for some people it works.
     
  3. Summer Rose

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    Nobody says that you have to do certain things to actually be a male (such as have short hair); perhaps you may wish to be androgynous, leaning more toward the male side. Regardless, I think you may be looking at this the wrong way, thinking you need to be trans when you should be aiming for being the opposite gender/sex, only beings trans literally.
     
  4. BookDragon

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    A few things to consider.

    1. A 'straight' man is not the only type of man!
    2. Not all men wear shirts, ties or have body hair!
    3. Not all men have short hair!

    So let's consider a few things.

    You don't feel comfortable as a woman. You say you wanted to have surgery. Did you want that because you hate the parts you have? Was it because you would prefer to have mens parts? Or was it perhaps that you just assumed that was what had to be done?

    As for your thoughts of not being trans enough. Firstly, other people can take their opinions (and that includes me!) and shove it into whatever nasty place you choose. Only you can decide that, our opinions don't mean a damn thing. We can advise you to think carefully, but only you know how you feel. However it IS a good thing to think about.
     
  5. anonym

    anonym Guest

    Thanks for the advice. I am so confused right now
     
  6. lovelyfake

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    maybe b the kind of person u like to b?