1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Genderfluid but Confused?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Balloonwolf, Nov 2, 2013.

  1. Balloonwolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Good morning, everyone! I'm writing this in a bit of a confused state. After several months of therapy and having discussed gender, sexuality, and other concerns with my therapist, I still feel a bit confused: She's pointed out that I appear more fluid, and I feel fluid, but at times I still really feel I want to be a woman.
    Now, I don't completely hate my body. Yes, I dislike my body hair, odor, and general masculine structure. I'm not too fond of the bushy brows and having to shave every morning. As far as genitalia goes, however, I don't have a complete disliking for my male sex organs. They're just okay. But even with this slight lack of dysphoria in that region, I still feel I should be a woman, moreso a man.
    The friends that know of my progress treat me as though I'm female--pronouns, name, attitude and conversational tone. I'm just not sure how to feel though. My therapist felt pretty spot on with the fluidity :c what would you do, or how would you feel in this situation? Brandy feels more me than...Mr. John (not really my last name, hahah).
     
  2. Maxis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2012
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm in a very similar situation, actually. I label as genderqueer (I have girly parts), although I worked out just recently that my exact gender identity is more something like, fluid in a very strict sense--say there's a spectrum for male------female, I'll be between the middle (maaaybe slightly leaning towards female) and sort of tipping the scale towards male in any given point. And then when it comes to identification of said gender, agender------gender, I just bounce all around the place.

    It's really confusing, but I've figured out that I definitely lean more masculine, and I'd much rather be a guy than a girl. Despite this, the people I'm out to treat me as genderqueer (which is, you know, what I identify as) when it comes to pronouns, name, etc. but frankly, I might consider transitioning to male when I'm old enough, albeit, still considering myself genderqueer.

    I wasn't really sure how to answer the question, I only wanted to let you know I could relate. It's a tough situation to be in, when you're confused about your gender and just really aren't sure how things are meant to work. I think maybe it's best to just think it through, think about what your therapist said, and accept that she might be right (or, alternatively, accept that she might be wrong). It's not exactly a bad thing, you know? You're just discovering a part of yourself that you never really knew was there before.^^
     
  3. Starry Eyes

    Starry Eyes Guest

    Being gender fluid means you bounce back and forth. I would say your therapist was right.
     
  4. oh my god I

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2013
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    My advice is always just to keep exploring yourself and your presentation however you can, 1 little step at a time, and soon that will build up into a better image of how you relate to yourself :slight_smile: It's great that you have a supportive therapist to work this out with. It can be so frustrating when you are just really confused can't it??

    Anyway, this is why I love always learning new things and experimenting with my fashion and personal style... the more techniques I learn and outfits and accessories I have, the more I start to feel more like I can be whoever I feel like each day!

    (*hug*) I hope you keep asking yourself these important questions and discovering more about you.
     
  5. There is no dysphoric requirement on gender identity. If you feel you are X, Y, or Z then you are that, you don't have to feel dysphoric about any specific part of you in order to justify it.

    Your identity is about who you are and how you feel about yourself, not anyone else's idea of who you should be, so it's really up to you to figure out. I know that's not particularly helpful, but I hope it makes you feel better about being confused. It'll come to you eventually. You seem to be exploring yourself, going to therapy, etc and that will all help the process along :slight_smile: