Hey everyone, so I’m in my mid twenties and tired of all the loneliness, so I got the courage to actually meet up with another guy for the purpose of hooking up. I drove to his place and sat in the lobby waiting for him to answer me, but he didn’t (something to do with my messages not being sent he later told me, which makes sense since he approached me first). I was kind of happy it didn’t happen, I don’t really know what to expect, and still kinda think sex with another guy is a bit strange for me. I wanted more than anything to relate to my female friends, since I feel with my lack of sexual identity I have a harder and harder time talking to them, and I really love one of them. I also sometimes feel like I’m talking like them when talking to guys on dating sites. So I’m confused, and have been confused for some time. I don’t know if I’m straight and just need more confidence , gay, or transgender. Any advice or shared similar experiences would be most welcome.
Identifying "with them" and "as them" can, surprisingly, be two very different things. If you feel that you only want to have a relationship with men, then I would say you're at least gay/bi-leaning gay. Now if you're confused on gender, ask yourself whether you want to be a female. You have to ask yourself if you're comfortable being recognized and identifying as a male, or would you rather be something else? It's not unusual for a man to identify with women, as that could mean you are simply more effeminate (which I may add, has little to do with your orientation). I would love to give you a more definite answer, but at the same time, you need to figure out a little bit more about yourself first.
I've just had girls whom I felt a strong love for, but could never really understand it or make it work, and I watch as the friendship slowly grows apart and I'm left doing things that I don't really want to do, instead of hanging out with them. Maybe I wish I was like them, and emulate their behavior. Perhaps I just need to get over the hurdle and try being with a man and then I can relate and contribute to the friendship better, I don't know. Perhaps I just have to not be so hard on myself and ask the girl to hang out. I do need to learn more about myself, I'm too reserved. I'll post more later, thanks for the reply MrRedFox.
