So sometime this week, most likely !!!tomorrow or Thursday!!! , my friend is taking me down to the school counselor's office. He is also FTM and came to her when he first realized it. He wants me to get the number of a therapist she recommends, and that he also used to go to. I've NEVER told anyone at my school that I'm trans* (and I wasn't really planning to), except for him and one of my old friends. Not even my boyfriend knows. I'm really afraid that I'll end up having a panic attack before we go in or that I'll be so nervous that I skip school. I'm already having a lot of anxiety, and we only made plans to do it not even half an hour ago. I haven't even told my parents or my best friend, how am I supposed to tell someone I've only talked to maybe 6 or 7 times throughout all of high school? How am I supposed to go to a therapist and tell them? How am I supposed to talk about it to a stranger? How do I tell my parents to get them to take me??? I'm so scared. I know that things won't get any better if I do nothing, so just sitting around isn't an option. Has anyone had a similar experience? :help:
I know exactly how you feel. The first time I posted anything on here was the first time I'd said anything about my gender confusion to anyone ever, and I actually stared at the post for about an hour before I got up the nerve to actually post it. And that was just anonymously on the damn internet. When I actually said the words out loud to one of my college's counselors, I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for about ten seconds or so. I was literally shaking. Talking about any of my feelings EVER is really nerve-wracking for me because what everyone has always expected from me is the "Guys don't do feelings" tough-guy bit. As for parents, I can't really give you much advice there. The primary reason I suppressed my confusion for so long was because I was literally scared into silence about what my uber-conservative, religious parents would think and what they'd put me through. I still have no idea how I'm going to tell them. :bang: I don't know what your parents are like, but I can understand the fear. Good luck with your visit, though. Personally, I think it's easier to talk to someone that doesn't know you and doesn't have any expectations. I'm sure it'll go swimmingly, and I promise that you'll feel WAAAAAY better when it does. After the gut-wrenching fear stops (it does, I promise). If you do end up with a panic-attack, just remember to breathe really deep and concentrate on your breaths. Everyone here is rooting for you, so again, good luck! (&&&)
It actually went very very well!! :icon_bigg I was so nervous that I couldn't even talk, so he did most of the talking for me. He knows the basics, if not a bit more, about my situation so he did a pretty good job of asking questions I'd ask and such. The one thing she really stressed though, was talking to my parents. Since I'm not legally an adult yet, if I want to go to a therapist, my parents have to either take me or sign that I can go on my own. So they have to know no matter what I decide. But I'm very glad I went! It seems like I have a lot more resources available now than I did before, though I didn't really do too much. But progress is progress, even if it's something very small like this~
