Bigender/Genderfluid, does this make sense/anyone else like this?

There is no race to figure things out. It is not a competition with yourself. Some things require the perspective that only time can bring.

Slow your roll a little bit...

 

It makes perfect sense. In fact I believe that there are many people who feel that way, even those who never heard about the trans* possibility.
I think all people have their masculine and feminine side. The problem is when you start to analyze your feelings too much
Maybe, if you never heard about gender problems, you would be ok with both of your personalities.
Try to find the way how to live with you

 

Hmm, I was typing and deleting and I don't know how to explain it. But what you are talking about seems to be very natural and normal to me and I don't feel being bigender or genderfluid.

 

Hi hope you are staying okay.

I just saw this thread now.

You know what?? I think the way you put it here showed an important pattern. And it is TOTALLY the same way for myself... You feel like you want to be a boy when you are seeking comfort and solidarity. You feel like you want to be a girl when you aren't worried about that, just in a good mood, enjoying yourself, and the only thing that brings you back to wanting to be a boy is confronting the reality that there are anxieties and a lot of discomfort that comes with living as a trans girl.

Being a boy is natural, it's easier (like, internally), you feel totally valid because you were born male and unapologetic about your femininity because again, you were born this way.

Being a girl is more in line with who you are, but it's scary and it's hard and naturally triggering in its own way and being trans with low self esteem can make it hard to ever feel whole as a girl or as a person really.

Either way though, I don't think it's wrong to feel bigender even if it's for those reasons. It's all really complicated and there is no wrong way to feel about things.

This probably isn't really helpful just wanted to say that (well you know by now lol but) I can really relate to what you are feeling... :c

 

I'll just copy my answer from a similar thread:
Reasons I identify as genderqueer (not saying these are absolute criteria though):
1. If I were to wake up as a woman tomorrow, I wouldn't mind at all.
2. Half the time I identify with and communicate with women easier than with my male peers.
3. Some of my behaviour is considered quite feminine, yet it feels right/natural to me.
4. I do not care whether someon calls me he or she. (Often strangers on the phone assume I'm a woman)

Maybe it's not exactly similar to your situation, but this way you know you're not completely alone.

 

Bigender and Gender Fluid. I've been researching the two terms lately. I feel that they describe me well. It sounds like the describe you well too. Everything you wrote makes sense to me.

I have been largely unsuccessful in determining if my male and female halves each are more related to certain feelings like wanting love or wanting adventure, but I do know that some days I want to identify as female, and other days I am content identifying as male. This is basically the definition of gender fluid, so I have decided to use that label for now.

I've never seriously considered transition. I guess you could say I'm lucky to have figured out how much I value my male half early on. Right now I'm trying to focus on expressing myself fully as who I am, and I've decided that it isn't so important that my sex is male. Except for the fact that I can't always act how I want around people. I tend to relate and connect to females more--I often wish I could talk to them and make friends with them without feeling like they're afraid of me or on guard around me.

If I could just get people to accept me as part female, I think I would finally be comfortable with telling people I am male. For awhile now, I have been omitting my sex information on my various internet profiles. I'm not comfortable with telling people because then they might assume things about me based on gender roles and stereotypes. But this term... gender fluid. If I'm up front with them and I tell them that I don't conform to typical gender roles, what might happen? Would I be okay with presenting as male? Maybe I would finally be able to go into the male assigned public restrooms without feeling like I'm entering the wrong door. Because those doors are sorting you by sex, not gender.

So, to me my sex isn't important except for how others treat you because of it. Perhaps if I am confident in my gender, however diverse or changing it may be, then I can be accepting of my sex as well. At least that is what I am hoping. I've only just recently come to this conclusion, so to be perfectly honest I have not yet been able to confirm my feelings on it.

I'm sorry if I talked about myself too much. I feel like I can relate to your situation though, so hopefully hearing my story so far can provide you with them insight.

 

I'm pretty new to this site, and I just. Wow. It feels pretty nice to read about your experiences with this. I identify as genderfluid myself, and I can relate to a lot of the things you write.
I've considered transition (FTM), but how male/female I feel really changes overnight, so for now I'm trying to come to terms with my body as it is. I truly do feel that if I were to wake up in a male body tomorrow, I wouldn't mind at all. Most of the time, I feel like it'd be a pleasant surprise, but I don't think I've ever experienced actual dysphoria in this body. Ah, the confusion!
Anyway, I also feel like the way I feel about my gender changes depending on the situation. I recently noticed that when I feel vulnerable, I feel more male. Also, when I see someone I'm attracted to, I feel male.
A lot of the time, I also feel like I'm neither. When I talk to guys, I generally feel like neither, and when I talk to girls, it's as if I adopt a more typical male behavior than usual. (I'm only attracted to men though, so I'm not really sure why).

Anyway, this probably wasn't helpful at all (I'm sorry), but I just wanted to say that I can very much relate to some of the things you're describing. I'm slowly coming to accept that I don't have to be either one, but as you're saying, the pre-existing gender roles feel quite limiting. So.. Yeah

 

I love what is being written here. I agree with all of it, more or less. Sometimes I feel very female, and other times (usually during attraction or sexual activity) I feel much more male than female. I know I need to figure this out over time, but for now it is really nice to know that all of you are feeling the same things I am. I finally feel like I am in the right place.

 

Looking at the larger picture, I think what stands out for me is the reminder that how we view our lives and our preferences is not necessarily fixed. For some, there is a fluidity to things and trying to fit into a THIS or THAT situation just won't work.

For the rest of us, we need to remember to allow people to be exactly as they need to be without us expecting that they need be a certain way. When people are struggling with figuring out who they are, they don't need the pressure of our expectations layered upon that.

All will be evident in the fullness of time...

 

I agree with both of these posts. I consider myself gender fluid too and would like to add that I also feel more empowered when in "girl mode"

I'll never forget seeing a girl in a store one day dancing to music at a display and thinking "I wish I could do that." I wished I could dress the same way and dance in pubic like that. Same thing happened to me one day while on a road trip. I saw a girl riding a scooter to work and I thought "I wish that was me." "I wish I could do that." It's like seeing other girls just being themselves brings something out in me and I get a little jealous.

 

It makes sense to me. I'm kinda flip-flopping back and forth between wondering if I'm genderfluid or if I'm trans, and just occasionally OK with the body I was born with....