Can anyone help so live and California and they passed a law that allows transgender students in the bathroom of their choice but do you have to see a gender therapist before that because I wont be able to also can I ask them to not tell m parents because my mom only knows right now but i want to be called by male pronouns at school and my chosen name. But theres one problem im very feminine and look girly though i am buying guys clothing soon and have some guys clothes but my hair isnt super short but medium length and i dont mind that i cant really pass but i like my look but even if i cant pass can i still go in the mens room if i talk to the school counselor. I mean my school is different its like a independent program but you still go to classes on certain days and there is always teacher around and the bathroom is outside but near the teachers classrooms since its a tiny campus and there are quite a bit a gay kids in this study hall group on the days I go and that takes up most of the time im not in lass so i don't think i can get harassed easily since there are teachers and LGBTQ members there who'd id think would be open to transgender people.So i dont think its so dangerous.
Okay. So, just wanted to say congrats for taking the first steps to figuring yourself out and getting out there. I can understand the concern. My state's got gender identity protection laws as well, similiar to the ones California adopted. Will you need a gender therapist? Probably not. But I'd imagine you may want to notify teachers and facility of the situation and your preferred name. I'm a community college student. Privately emailed my campus' Affirmative Action office, my professors, and guidance counseling to inform them that I was a transgender FtM student. Just be polite, brief. You won't need to go into details about your transition, just that how you're addressed legally differs from the reality. Consider looking into a name change, if your mom's supportive. Now bathrooms? If it's as liberal as you say, there shouldn't be a problem. I use the men's room, don't consistently pass for male. Go in, get it done, and you'll probably be left alone. You get trouble, report them. You have a legal right to use facilities that correspond to your proper gender.
I use men's room as well. I'm not comfortable in the women's cr. So far nothing has happened to me ever since. You just have to go straight to the cubicle and that's it. Take care!
Generally, I think that society is more lenient on trans men using the bathroom too (regardless of point in transition/passability). People (general society) tend to get more up in arms over trans women using girls restroom because in their mind trans women are predators (at least in the minds of people who don't agree with trans women using the girls restroom), where I don't think trans men suffer from that stigma. You may be able to talk to a school counselor about being transgender, and they won't tell your parents, I believe they are legally bound to privacy but I'm not 100 percent sure. Regardless, whatever you do I hope it goes well!
Recently a friend in my school went through the same exact thing (transitioning from FtM). First, he emailed all of his teachers about his situation and what his preferred name is. He also emailed guidance about it, so they could be made aware of the situation. Lately, his transition seems to be going well (everyone calls him Andy), and although he is allowed where I live to use the male bathroom, he just uses the nurse or teacher (locked single stall) bathrooms! Good luck!
I don't have much to add other than that I agree with the others. Sending an e-mail to your teachers would be a good idea especially since you have reasons to believe they will be supportive. I use the men's room sometimes and haven't had an issue with it yet.
The social rules of the mens room can be helpful, too. There are basically 3 rules of the mens room - 1- get in, get your business done, get out. 2 -Noone else exists in the mens room, merely moving obstacles. And 3, eyes front or straight down. No words are spoken. Note that there are certain circumstances where these rules don't exist, such as gay bars.
I've heard that, too. And don't be afraid to use stalls. There are plenty of guys who have shy bladders.
if you ask me, i would file a complaint to the government. talking to a gender therapist is a good idea. i'm used to going to mens and unisex restroom all the time during my transgender days. i was out of school for few years and i kept changing myself all the time.
