Am i a Transgender Female?

Well you answered pretty much every important question we could ask: Do you feel like a woman on the inside? (sounds like yes). Do You like the idea of being female (yes). Do you feel like you were born in the wrong body? (yes).

So really, all of the extra feminine stuff is just that: gender stereotypical female activity that, while unnecessary, should help you solidify your feelings of wanting to transition. That's not to say you shouldn't keep doing these if you love them (obviously do what you love) just know that it should help reinforce your feelings instead of purely being justification.

Anyways, like first (and really, only important paragraph) mention, you sound almost 100% meant for trans. I would definitely recommend you try for a gender therapist.

 

"that tension i have as a male goes away and i feel happy and free and i am very expressive." - Did you steal this from my diary or something?

1. Does desiring to shave my arms, legs and pits make me more female?
No, plenty of guys do that.

2. When i get called Maam or miss over the phone makes my day. Is that weird? Especially because i am soft-spoken at work?

Someone accidentally spoke to Monika, assuming she's real, of course she's gonna be happy!

3. When i am dressed as a female, i really enjoy the attention i get when men buy me drinks or hold the doors for me. What is this feeling i feel when this happens?

I dunno...happiness?

4. I have naturally long eye lashes, with mascara all i need is two coats and i look like i'm wearing the fake ones. I have very nice thick legs and i have very feminine but slightly scrawny arms. Also, my feet are perfect they have arch that allows me to wear any kind of shoe including the high heel kind. Having all these things i feel like i been cursed with the wrong body parts as a male. Is it wrong to feel this and if it is not then what is it?

It's not wrong at all. Believe me, if you want to search the morality of the whole thing we can do that for HOURS. HOURS DAMN IT! I'm jealous of your feminine figure, can we trade? :3

5. Because i have lost a lot of weight with my weight-loss surgery. I am hating the idea about having my penis and testicles around. They are more bothersome and annoying everyday i have them. Does this mean i desire more and more to have a female body?

No. It means your penis and testicles annoy you. You know that. It's interesting to see how you phrase these questions...do you desire a vagina instead?

6. I enjoy my pedicures and manicures when i am able to do them but i wish i could give them some color but my general manager and family frown upon it because i am male.
What could this mean?
It means you would prefer some colour and your GM and family are boring traditionalists.

7. According to the people that hang around me when i am Monika tell me that i smile more and act more confident. Does that mean that i was possibly meant to be female?
I hear that all the time. It means you are comfortable enough in yourself to actually BE yourself, without over-thinking things.

8. Because i am a virgin and i tend to act very innocent and that comes off very feminine at times and i feel that when i'm on a date that would be a major turn off for another female and i date and i get stuck in the friend zone. What am I doing wrong?

I'm starting to question whether I wrote this post in my sleep...are you SURE you're not me? Since when is innocence a turn off? It's cute! I hope you won't discount my input because I'm not cis but if I was looking to date a girl they'd probably HAVE to be cute!

9. I fight a lot with my mom and i've always felt more like i am her daughter than her son because of this. Also, i get along great with my dad, for instance growing up i always had my way with dad for example.

Why did you feel like that.

Everything written on that card is a summary of my relationship with my dad. Does this dynamic make me more female than male?

No, it means you relate to some words that someone arbitrarily decided were from a female. If they hadn't specified would you have thought it?


If you go through my post, or at least if I go through it, 2 things become clear very quickly.

1. It seems pretty damning against your ideas.
2. I relate to them whole heartedly.

The fact that I've gone through it and said 'this all sounds like me' and I'm trans, but I've said to almost all of them 'no it doesn't mean YOU are' might seem a contradiction. It might even seem like I'm trying to exclude you from our 'exclusive club' (you wouldn't be the first to think that!), but that is not the case and I'll explain why.

Re-read your post. You started by telling us about Monika. I mean it, it sounds like something I wrote a few months back when I first wrote about Holly. It all feels the same. But then you tried to justify her with these questions. I think even YOU know that those questions were just grabbing at straws to justify something that didn't need justifying.

Shaving, nail polish? These don't make you a woman. None of them make you Monika.

What makes you Monika is that first paragraph. That first admission that when you present yourself as Monika, the tension lifts. You express and emote, you smile and you are HAPPY. You feel GOOD. THAT is what makes you Monika. THAT is what you focus on. Don't feel like you need to live up to some female stereotype in order to be you. If Monika feels like the real you, then explore her. If it turns out you're wrong, no harm done, but if you discover she IS the real you then fantastic.

The only reason I dragged this out for a while and explained all this is because after I told my mum that I am Holly, she started with every single stereotype under the sun. "But you don't LOOK like a girl" "You can't wear ribbons" (i LOVE ribbons and bows!) You can't or don't do THIS. You do THAT which is a man thing. She went through all this crap to justify why I COULDN'T POSSIBLY be trans because she didn't want to have to deal with it. It was really hard for me to deal with. The chances are you will get the same thing, and you just don't need to do it to yourself as well!

(*hug*)

 

If you need any help with how to approach your parents, feel free to send me a message!

As for not being attracted to men, I don't think it's uncommon, but I am told that hormones can change your attractions, although I have no idea how true that is!

As for not dating until you've FULLY transitioned, I don't know how you define 'fully', but that's a loooooong time! Don't rule it out completely, you might miss something good!

 

Good luck with coming out to your parents!

 

I'm rather jealous that you have a female counterpart that you can present as while amongst friends. The female part of me is relatively weak and I've never really expressed her outside of the internet. Not fully, anyway. I'm letting her effect my personality though.

As for your questions, I mostly agree with everything ElliaOtaku said. A lot of them are trivial and what's key here is how this stuff makes you feel. But I must admit, I have asked myself the same questions.

It makes me really happy when someone points out a feminine quality of mine. I've never tried to change my voice, but on the internet a lot of people assume I am female because of the way I talk to them (and maybe the avatars I use).

I've also only ever been attracted to females, for me this has been one of the biggest reasons why I wonder if my feelings are legit. Is it possible because I've never had a girl in my life that I'm trying to bring that feminine quality of life to me through other means? Am I just trying to be my own girlfriend to find better balance in my life? But that makes no sense because I've never been masculine in the first place. It's not like I'm over-loaded with guy feelings.

I don't know, it's confusing. I guess I'm ranting a little too much about myself on your thread--I just wanted to let you know that I can relate in some ways.

I wish you luck with your transition and coming out. I hope everything goes well and I hope you keep us updated!