Advice on being transgender as a minor and in a residential dorm setting.

Hello,
I am a nearly seventeen year-old senior at a residential high-school. I am openly pansexual, which isn't really an issue for me here, as the community is very accepting of (I hope by using this collective term I am not causing any offence) non-traditional sexualities. However, I have not come out as trans. This is for a few reasons. First is that I am still coming to terms with it on my own and second is because I don't really want to be put into any stereotypes that I will not fit into, since I would still, until I transitioned, primarily dress as a male. At over six feet tall, and broad-shouldered, I feel that without the characteristics of a female body, I would look better in male clothing.

I am not, however really writing about that. What I am more worried about is what experiences people have had while transitioning during high school and college, especially while living in a dorm. I think that i would be able to work out an understanding with the college itself, so that it would create a situation that I could tolerate, however, I have a different conundrum. If I end up going to the school that I currently want to, and if one other person I know gets in (which I believe is likely), I will have a rooming situation that I will request (knowing the risks of having an unpredictable rooming situation).

Both of of my potential roommates are good friends of mine, but know me very well as a male, and I am sort of unsure about how me transitioning as their roommate would work out.

I guess that I would like to have some stories about transitioning during college, and possibly as a minor, and what that was like with roommates, and the people you knew, especially if you would come out to them in the middle of the process.

-Thanks in advance for any information/advice you could give me.

-Clara/Andrew

 

Thanks for your response, that gives me quite a bit of information. I'm not really enthralled with the idea of switching schools, as I am quite set on a career that does require a lot of education (R&D really likes doctorates). I would prefer to not have to spend a long time at several different universities. I hope to start hormones either before my high school graduation or at least before I start going to college. It all depends on when I come out to my family. If I come out to my potential roommates before any decisions about rooming have to be made I will be able to find out if being trans would cause any issues, but that would require actually trying to decide if I am ready to come out to a person I don't trust completely and unconditionally (like the one friend that I have come out to and my parents, even though I haven't come out to them yet).

I only recently started actually figuring out my sexuality and gender identity (but knew I wasn't 'normal' for a good long while beforehand) and while it was easy for me to be open about my pansexuality, it wasn't quite the same when I began to understand that I was trans. In my college supplement for merit aid (which I am finagling so that my parents won't read it) I actually come out to the college (since it doesn't use it for admissions, only for the awarding of aid, which I don't necessarily need, but will be nice) and if the university (Worcester Polytechnic Institute) is helpful, I guess that all of my worries will be unfounded. I just am not used to having so much of my life be completely out of my control like it is now (This was sentiment actually caused a mental collapse a few weeks back when I first applied and came out to my friend).

I apologise for the--probably confusing--number of parenthetical statements in the preceding paragraphs.

I guess that one of my other things is about just starting the therapies etc. What stories do you all have about starting therapy? Who (non-specifically) did you see? What type of transport did you arrange (parents, in-the-know friend, other)? That general type of thing.

Thanks in advance,
-Clara/Andrew