Alright, this is a long overdue post that frankly, I've just been waiting to get a semi clear picture of what I'm going through. When I was younger, I don't ever remember identifying myself with any one particular gender, however I almost chose to think of myself as a woman. I think i was pretty happy, I got an easy bake oven for Christmas and couldn't have been happier. When I was growing up, I would express my emotion a lot, I would try and relate to how I was feeling to people and express my troubles to people. I'm guessing I got a little bit too old for that and my mom pretty much told me to cut it out, which I did, but, I didn't like it. Now here I am. I hate the hair on my body, it's just not me. I sometimes look down at myself and feel like something's missing, like something should've replaced the bare gap on my chest. I've come close to just shaving it all off but don't, because I have to dress out during pe and have to show my legs. I hate to say it, but im just one of those kids with a lot of hair on my legs, people would notice if it just disappeared one day. I'm jealous of the women I see walking around school and how they get to so freely express themselves and be open to people without society saying its wrong. I just feel like something is wrong. The gender roles that I'm supposed to be following as a guy just don't fit me, because I'd gladly take the place of a woman anyday. I've cross dressed, and it felt calming. It eases some of the stress of always putting on guy clothes and living a life that I know something is wrong. I've tried to do a lot of things, but all in all, it just settled me down inside, I can't describe it. I just don't know what's going on with me. I ignore these feelings successfully for a couple weeks and then they just come back twice as strong. Maybe it's just a phase that I'm going through to discover myself...but I just don't know. If you can give any advice, it would help, maybe this was just a rant.:bang:
I'm too young to take medication, I guess I'm just confused about what gender I am. I feel more female than anything...
Ah that middle paragraph...sounds about right. First things first, your whole body hair thing. If you want to shave it, do it. If you're worried about it being seen, then just get rid of anything that can be covered up! I'm talking back/chest/stomach/upper leg/arms and so on. See if it helps. Aside from that, if cross dressing calms you, explore it. Try and figure out what you feel when your dressed and see how it is different to usual. Try to see what (if any) difference it makes to how you feel at the moment. Also, while I completely relate to your thing about expression, could you elaborate a bit more? What do you feel you can't express without society breathing down your neck?
