Sigh...this has been a plague on my mind for a while now, whether I am or I am fooling myself. I've previously stated my thoughts on wanting to be a woman, feeling somewhere that I wanted to be acceptable as a woman socially and psychologically (I wanted to be able to look at myself and believe it). Yet, I still worry; the main thing I worry over is the fact that when I was young, I didn't fret over my gender (though it's hard to remember much of anything about when I was younger). When it comes to the trans-community, I only realized it existed, and it was truly an enlightening and changing experience. The moment I realized I was a woman is the same moment I could never stop thinking about it...but is it real if it is only recent? Do I truly feel this way if, deep-down, it was only a recent development in my consciousness? The thing is, I want to be a woman, but I want to know with absolute certainty that being trans isn't restricted to simply knowing as young as one can "know." I love when people refer to me by a female name (a common one that I've recently decided upon), I love the idea of being able to do things as a woman, and having others accept me for who I want to be. Basically, I want to know if my feelings of being trans now make up for never realizing it in the past. It was a sudden development, but it's one that hasn't gone away, and I don't want it to go away! Please, I really want to know if it could be...:tears:
...That's kind of what happened to me. I started off a tomboy, identified gender neutral for roughly a year, and then I guess I, well, transitioned into a male identity. Or something. You sound sure of yourself. That's good! It'll help you decide what you want to do about being transgender. And, yeah, I' ve been asked if I was going through a phase quite a lot. Many of us don't realize anything until they are much older. Lots of people have been in your situation. I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose you with anything, but I think you really are transgender!
Don't worry, sweetheart, the whole trans thing isn't always knowing since childhood/very young. (*hug*) There are plenty who realise they're something other than the gender they were assigned at birth at various points in life. I haven't always been a guy since childhood. It's something that seemed to unlock/evolve for me when I was late 17 or early 18. First I found myself feeling androgynous/genderless (didn't know the words though cause I didn't know anything trans). And then eventually I just felt male and there you go. Now I'm a month from 20 years old, and suffice to say or whatever, I've never been more sure of anything in my life, even though I haven't always been like this since childhood.
Hi redfox =). To me, it sounds like you clearly know what you want, you just want someone to say that it is Ok. I will be that person haha. The cool thing about gender is that the only person who gets to decide how you feel and what you want to do with your life, is you. There are no rules. You'll find that there are a lot of trans* people in this world with vastly varying stories -- many of which sound pretty similar to yours. While I can not relate to you personally on how late you are experiencing gender incongruent feelings as have had gender incongruent feelings since I was a young kid, I can personally attest to reading about other trans* people who developed Trans* feelings a bit later than most people. On another trans-specific forum I visit, people say sometimes that a good indicator that you could very well be trans is if you WANT to be trans, because cis-gender people don't want to be trans lol. There is no right or wrong way to be trans though because all of us are different and experience our bodies subjectively. NO ONE can tell you if you are or are not trans, it is something that ultimately only you can decide and get to decide, it's one of the reasons transition is the amazing journey of self discovery that it is.
This is one of those things that gets so many people! I didn't catch it early so it must not be legitimate... You think of the things that make you feel like a woman. All the little things you do and say. The ways you act, the things you feel. Would you have known what they meant when you were younger? Before I accepted the way I am, I was under the impression I hadn't even thought about it much until last year. But the more I think back, the more I realise that it probably was there, in little bits and pieces. But I couldn't have done anything about it. Things confused and upset me but I didn't realise trans was an option, did you?
I want to thank you all for the responses :icon_bigg I admit I've been a bit worried about this for a little bit now, so I am glad to know people who have also gone through this same issue (and those who also supportive). I can't tell you how much better I've felt since I joined EC and had gotten so much support (but I'm trying anyways :lol: ). I feel great about doing this, although I still have to go through the awkward process of coming out to my grandparents and telling them about meeting a therapist; still, I couldn't of overcome all of these doubts without you guys (and other members), :eusa_clap (!)
Not gonna lie, telling the grandparents is going to suck. I just told most of my grandparents and while they took it a hell of a lot better than I thought they would, they looked like the might die when I told them and started to freak! So seriously, good luck!
