Since I last came here, I've become more sure that I'm trans. I've learned more about it and talked to loads of trans*people on Tumblr and just made an effort to insert myself. But every once in a while, I doubt myself, and sometimes it just helps to get all the feelings and confusions out into the open, even if you guys have no advice to offer. So just.. bear with me. Since I've last been here, I came out to my guidance counsellor. She took it really well, and she's calling me my chosen name, Jay. Also, I have two great friends who ALWAYS use the right pronouns and name when in private, which is GREAT. I intend on coming out in the school LGBT club which I now attend every week because why the hell not. In regards to my feelings, I often feel like everything below my shoulders is just not part of my body. I hate my name, I hate female pronouns, it's just annoying as hell. I mostly wear loads of layers to make myself feel less girly, and I got a short haircut which helps to. I've adopted some little guy mannerisms, which is mainly accidental. I dunno, I get really scared whenever I start making steps forward. I just freak out and doubt everything, even if the day before I was entirely sure. The guy in charge of the LGBT club, Dan, he's trans*, and he's a really great guy and I was thinking, maybe should I try to talk to him or something? Would that be an idea? By the way, he's four years ahead of me in school. So yeah.. I'm doubting myself and I wanna move forward but I'm scared... Scared Puppy Jay is being his normal self..
"The guy in charge of the LGBT club, Dan, he's trans*, and he's a really great guy and I was thinking, maybe should I try to talk to him or something?" Yeah I think that would be a great thing to do! He would be able to help you make sense of all your feelings.
You should definetly talk to him if you feel you can trust him. He's been in your position before and knows precicely what you're going through, well aware of the importance of keeping this private. Try to ask him some of your questions and critically think about how many of his experiences and feeling apply to you. Looking into somebody else can give great insight into oneself.
