Umm.. Hello! I don't really know how to start writing this, so I guess I'll just get to the point. I am a 20 year old female and I came out as bisexual when I was 18. I was really happy with my "decision", I almost started liking myself and I was definitely sure that that was the case, I was bisexual and that's it and I was ready to fight for it. I hated when people were saying things about bisexuality like "It's just a phase", and "You're really gay, you just can't accept it yet" and stuff like that. Until recently. The truth is that all my life I've been liking girls, more than boys. I mean, I had crushes on boys and a couple relationships, but whenever I really "fell" for someone, that someone was a girl. I don't know if that matters a lot, or if it doesn't at all, it's just one of the things that run through my head. Lately I have been thinking that I might not be a bisexual, and I might be gay, and that scares me somehow, and confuses me and makes me mad about myself. I started to really worry about this, when I saw my sister after a long time (I'm studying abroad and I visited her for a couple of days) and she asked if I was really sure that I'm bi. (She is perfectly fine with it, she asked because she was worried about me). Anyway, it was the first time that this absurd thought became solid, and I answered no. Since that day, I'm really struggling about it, because I really don't know and I really hate being confused, because I don't want to get through the same shit again. And if this isn't crappy enough, lately I started to question my gender identity also. I don't really like my body, boobs annoy me and I really have trouble shopping clothes, because I never really wanted to buy stuff from the female section, even when I was younger, but now it troubles me even more. I don't have extreme dysphoria, and I'm not even sure if this is not all in my mind, but lately it troubles me very much. I always had thoughts like "I could make a good looking dude" or stuff like that, but nothing serious, until now. I can't identify as male, but I can't identify as complete female either. I don't know where I belong and if I belong somewhere. It sucks being confused and I'm really tired of this situation. When I came out as bi, I thought that it was going to get better. For a short period of time, it got. But recently, it only gets worse, so I don't know anymore. Will this ever stop? I just can't think anymore. :bang:
I'm kind of the same boat. I came out as bi about a few years ago. I'm male but lately, I've been thinking about the stuff I've done in my life and I'm not too sure about myself. You're not alone.
No problem. I'm still trying to cope with it. I'm still thinking about the stuff I did in my life to see if I'm just working myself up or if it's a real thing with me. But I figure that I just got to be myself. I'm still me, but I have to see if I can really call myself male now.
First I'd like to ask why you might be scared/confused/mad about being lesbian; second, I need to ask if you really feel like you identify more as a male. When it comes to gender, you need to ask yourself if you "feel" male, if you see yourself, the "real you," as being a man rather than a woman. So far, it does seem like you might be on to something, but it's best to try and ask yourself if you prefer being seen, though of, and otherwise confident that you are a man. I would also like to point out that not everyone initially understands that they might be transgendered, so don't worry about discovering it at a later date.
I'm kind of in the same boat; I've thought I was straigt for a long time, but I've discovered there were a few tiny exceptions, so I was a tiny bit bi; nothing I found even worth paying attention to. It is that way, I don't really mind, whatever. Until recently I came into contact with transsexuality when browsing youtube, and many of the mentioned things applied to me. I came onto these forums to find answers, and although I've gained a lot of help here, I'm still confused. Sounds familiar?
Firstly because I went through a lot of shitty stuff to finally accept myself as a bisexual. Not because of the bisexuality itself, but because of the fact that I was really confused. I mean, it was a real deal for me to "be sure". And it bugs me that maybe I was wrong. I really want to settle, but I'm thinking to much to achieve this. I don't think that I identify more as a male, but the think is that I don't identify much as a female. Actually this is my biggest concern. I don't really believe that I identify as a male, but I really don't know where I stand to the "female". It's not only about gender roles in society, but this adds to it. It confuses me when people on the street confuse my gender, and it confuses me even more now that... I don't know. Yeah. I guess it's not about "identifying as a male", it's more about "not identifying as a female". ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2013 at 02:48 AM ---------- Yeah, very much. It sucks being confused, it's something that troubles me a lot. But it's kind of a relief to know that you are not alone in all this. Thank you all for your answers guys, I really appreciate them all
Yeah, not knowing can suck :L perhaps it would be a good idea to just take some time and really think if there are any men you think you're still interested in. Maybe you should think about whether you might wish to be androgynous then, as it seems you don't wish to be either gender then (that or agendered). In the end, you do not have to label yourself if you don't wish to; labels might be comforting, but they're not a requirement.
