Help!!! I can't handle my trans truth!!

erm...excuse me?

Are you sure about this? Do you honestly feel that you were truly meant to be a woman? That who you really are is a female? If so, then what needs "correcting?" Just slow down, think about these things for a bit, and then we can decide where to go next.

 

Not sure if trolling...

 

That probably has something to do with the fact that you've made 5 other threads about this exact topic where almost everyone has said that you don't seem to be trans at all and ought to see someone about a specific problem with OCD and yet here you are with thread number 6.

Now, if you are, for whatever reason, dead set on this idea that it couldn't POSSIBLY be anything else then I have bad news for you, it can't be 'fixed'. It can only be improved by transitioning.

In one thread you said this "I don't have dysphoria about my genitals and I don't have a long persistent wish to be a female. I don't dislike being called male things and in the past I have been annoyed when people have used female pronouns on me. Like once I was in an exercise class and the instructor said "right then ladies" and I thought "whaaat? I am not a woman"" suggesting that you don't have any desire to transition, it wouldn't improve your life at all.

You followed up with I don't feel that transitioning is what I need, it's more that I have to do it because I am a transsexual who is pre-op..

In another thread you said you discovered it by putting on a spice girls costume. Now the problem I have with this is that if you had discovered it by dressing as a girl, you would either not be so opposed to transitioning OR you would have told us at least one reason why it is something you cannot do. But you haven't. Not everyone transitions, true, but apparently you can't cope without transitioning but at the same time refuse to either seek help or transition. I don't know what more you can expect from us.

Then in the next thread you said that rather than having discovered you WERE transsexual from the experience, you tell us you actually just thought you might be. For no apparent reason other than you were wearing girls clothes. You also mentioned you had once had a similar thought that you might be a pedophile.

In that same thread you followed with I have tried dressing as a girl but I don't feel like I am suddenly being true to myself or anything, it was just kinda weird when I looked in the mirror. Now this if nothing else suggests almost categorically that you are not trans, because it seems when you consider everything else that you fatally misunderstand the most important part of what it is to be trans. We are not trans because the thought occurred and we just rolled with it. We CERTAINLY don't transition JUST because that's what trans people do. The single and ONLY reason we are this way is because we want everyone else to see the person we are inside. When I go out, I want people to see the girl I know I am! You on the other hand, appear to think that there is no such person inside and that dressing as a girl seemed weird. There is nothing wrong with that but my point is despite the many times we have pointed this out you don;t seem to be getting the message.

I am happy being seen as a man but again maybe I haven't fully realised that I am trans* yet. Again you are looking at this backwards. You are happy as a guy and yet for some reason you seem to be going to great lengths to make yourself trans. I don't doubt for a minute that something doesn't feel right inside, but I would bet money that this isn't it.

Your first thread (I think) was probably the most telling.

This sucks, I wish I could just stay as a boy but I'm worried that I am trans

No reasons, no thoughts, just this. "I wish I could stay as a boy". Unless there is something you are not telling us, literally NOBODY EVER is going to force you to change, except you apparently.

Now I realise this post is not in my usual helpful and friendly manner, but seriously, every other day we get a new post where you flat out ignore all the advice anybody gives. There are plenty of trans people who don't transition for whatever reason, just as there are plenty who do transition either partly or in full. The difference is every single last one of them can tell you WHY they are doing these things and not one of them comes back time and time again with "because I suddenly got this idea out of nowhere and even though I hate every single part of it with a passion and it doesn't feel right at all I'm going with it!".

 

I think you need to give this some more thought and see a professional. You've posted a lot about this, and all I'm seeing is that you have OCD issues. I'm not a psychologist, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I've read a lot of stuff like this from different people, and the ones who post thread after thread saying the exact same thing are usually just OCD. If you can't deal with your "trans truth", I highly doubt you're trans. It would really, genuinely surprise me if you were. Now, I'm not trying to kick you out of the trans club or anything, but really, I don't think you are. It sounds to me like you need to give this some more time.

 

That's your call, hon. If that's what you want to do. Just be careful and take it one day at a time.

 

lol at "trans truth" never heard that one before. :lol:

See I don't wanna try and dictate who you are and shit, but when you say stuff like this after only a matter of a few days and running around the forum screaming "HELP!!!", it just seems like you at least need to give this more time like justjade said. It seems like you're jumping into things like feet first or whatever, and if you don't slow down and see a therapist, this may not end well. Like I'm being totally honest here, I feel like if you went through with everything right now, you'd be one of the ones who regret it.

 

"Hmm.. but I'm sure lots of trans peeps wished they could have just stayed as their birth gender instead of having to change, but they couldn't due to their transsexualism."

Actually I speak for myself, and others can agree or disagree as they see fit, but I would FAR rather I had been born a girl. Frankly, I COULD stay my birth gender if it wasn't for the fact that it felt so sickeningly wrong. I sit and think often "Why wasn't I born a girl" not "How can I stay being a man". Others might feel differently, but that is for them to tell you.

EDIT: "but when you say stuff like this after only a matter of a few days and running around the forum screaming "HELP!!!", it just seems like you at least need to give this more time like justjade said"

In his defense, he did first raise this issue in a thread in February

 

oh well, but still their more recent threads and the things they say make it seem more like a recent thing. sorry OP I didn't know about that.

 

Calm down, SWAG. You can't transition physically without first seeing a gender therapist. Just do this one step at a time. That's the first step. Start with that.

 

SWAG. Stop for a moment and actually listen to what people are saying.

IF you really think you need to transition, fine, we can help you...I dare say many of us aren't happy about it, but you've got to do what's right for you in the end. You can't fully transition quickly or easily, so as you've been told several times SLOW DOWN and take it a step at a time.

You say you can't see a gender therapist yet. Why not?

What CAN you do in the mean time to help yourself through this. If you must transition there are plenty of small steps you can take for now, which we can tell you about.

 

Maybe you should go shopping alone and try on a dress or something?

 

Then wear it indoors...