I want to come out as FtM soon to my family ive already started wearing males clothes and i think am looking a bit male to my eyes but probably not others Ive already told my mom but i want to come out to my whole family and i even chose my name i want to go as but how would i tell everyone is it better to tell people all together or seperately would it be ok if my mom told my faily members that dont live with me or would that be rude how do i ask them to call me by the name i chose as well. Any other advise would be greatly appreciated. Should I also tell them im A gay FtM (meaning i like men) in the mix. Also i think most of my family is accepting of those things. Oh and i posted to this part of forum instead of the coming out section since I think I might get more help in this section since im transgender.
OK let's roll with this one! You're off to a good start because mum knows. That's the really hard one I think! Is it all right if mum does it? That is completely up to you. The only thing that should be made clear is that it is YOUR news to reveal. If you give your mum permission to tell family members or ask her to do it for you, great, as long as she knows you don't want her introducing you to people who don't know you 'as my daughter who thinks she's a boy now'! It depends on your relationship to these people. I see all my family members quite regularly so I told them myself, but my mum told her parents who I only see once a year! It's entirely up to you! How do I ask them to call me ***** Whoever breaks the news to them needs to make it clear that you would like to be known as whatever your new name is from now on, and to be thought of as male. Even if it's just 'from now on, please call me ****'. All at once or individually Again, up to you. It really depends on how you think they will take it. I told my sisters together, my parents and grandparents separately and it didn't seem to make a huge amount of difference. However there is always the chance that if one or more members of a larger group take issue with it they might drag the rest of the group down! Other advice No matter who breaks the news, make sure they seem pleased when you tell them. This is GOOD news and it needs to come through that way. If your mum for example tells someone "Oh, my daughter has decided to be a boy...what did I do wrong!?" they are going to sympathise with her. You don't want that! Be confident about your reasons, and tell them they can ask questions if they feel they need to BUT you want them directed to you, not your mum. Be ready to answer questions you won't like or will feel uncomfortable! As for telling them you're gay...well personally I wouldn't bother, or at least I wouldn't phrase it that way. I'm not saying you shouldn't, just that I wouldn't. I found that most people who felt the need to know asked me about it. "So when it's all done...who will you BE with?...like a guy or a girl?" the rest didn't feel the need to know. I suppose being fair, once you tell them you're trans it really overshadows sexuality for a bit! I'll add more if I think of anything, but if you need to talk while you prepare, feel free to message me!
