Hi everyone! There several things that bugs me on daily bases that i would like to rant about here since i can't do so in real life. I think i am suffering from some sort of mental illness that deals with being downgraded for being gay. I live in a overly macho society where even gay people deny any sort of gay-thinking and self expression. I come from post-islamic free liberal family that hardly practice any islam, my dad being an atheist and mom a muslim by name but never actually applies any Islam or anything in her life so this somehow affected me in adapting to the environment around me in the middle east. Religion is not the only problem that is affecting me to deal with people but the level of conservatism they have.One case of homophobia, were two guys from my university deleted on facebook for having 2 openly gay contacts on my friend list. another thing to rant about , i once had my beard entirely shaved and i was welcomed with some comments calling it un-manly. Moving on with cultural issues being from 2 countries (i am mixed) and living in a foreign country has also contributed to the alienation. It seems that people over here give a great importance to where your actually from which i find to be really stupid to base your friendship on. I really hate comments when i meet new people, Oh your from there...?!? you don't look or act like one, your accent is so different, its like people have some sort of stereotyping like they can't really get away with. Anyways to end this long post, Having a distinct multicultural background coupling with religious constraints, feudal thinking and homophobia has really damaged the process of self identifying my self that i really find it hard to get along with people here.Ugh..... i need to move out !!! :rolle: TLDR: 1) A rant about having issues with, Homophobia, Religious-conservative people and stereotyping.
*Home is where you are... home is where you want to be* ( < this, i got from an advert with a catchy song lol) In short home is what you make it. I can never fully understand or know what it is like to live a life such as yours, but i can at least share with you the knowledge I have. You say you need to move out? Well where ever you're going to go there only going to be new problems... don't get me wrong. All I'm trying to say is homophobia, religious conservative people and stereotyping, they are every where you go. Religious conservative people huh... In my home around the time of my early childhood, my parents made sure religion is something that was, one would say enforced. For this i thank my parents, it set a moral ground that i could follow. Just because they enforce religion upon me it doesn't mean they were strict in the way they did it, what they enforced was not religion, rather they enforced good morals. Through this they accomplished the aim of teaching me right from wrong and religion was just there to back it up, or fill in the blanks if you will. You said that your family members are not exactly established in there beliefs, that this is what has left you feeling some what lost and this is why you cannot adapt to the environment. Luckily the whole of my family is under one religion and this might make it seem that there should be no problem. My dad had a bad upbringing in terms of religion and this left him scared somehow. So he never really bothered if i chose to have a spiritual background or not. In short, sure my father has a religion he believes in but he just doesn't practice it. This weighed negatively on my mom as well, almost like my dad was a bad influence and so even my mother had stopped practicing our religion. Therefore, my parents where left enforcing good morals but without religious backup and this left me moving blind. On the other hand i also have an older sister and she is a person who is self driven and strong willed. I felt lost without a spiritual background and this is something that i wish didn't happen. Even though i was lost and blind in my faith, my sister (as strong willed and self driven as she is) remained the only one who managed to keep her faith strong in our religion. I don't know how she did it but i once asked and she said, "religion is not something that can be forced on you, its something you have to want and believe in, on your own." My point is, it does't matter what the rest of you family has going on in there lives concerning there religion. Don't let that be the reason why you cannot adapt to the environment in the middle east. How you live your spiritual life is your choice... I'm sure even you know its between you and your God, and not between you, your family and God. (I elaborated more on religion because, this is something i felt i could relate to... don't judge me, I'm a story teller. LOL) Homophobia... Yeah... its everywhere you go. Gay people denying any sort of gay-thinking or self expression, yeah its just something that the majority of people in all parts of the world cannot tolerate. Stereotyping... You said you're from two different countries and therefore you're mixed... well how people may discriminate or rather stereotype against you, its practically racism and that is everywhere you go too. Oh, a macho society huh... imagine you lived in Russia, where people are killed for even thinking of being gay (<being sarcastic... but seriously its no joke, the society there is very unfriendly to the likes of gay people) Wow, culture can be a funny thing in all parts of the world.... i can't imagine being restricted to shave my beard. Its one heck of a large and bitter pill to swallow... but we all have to adapt to our surrounding environment. Again... Home is what you make it I have to say again. I can never fully understand or know what it is like to live a life such as yours... but i just thought I'd give you another point of view of things. PLEASE know that i do not mean to offend you in anyway possible. Oh and ... this rant of yours has been good for something after all. It made me realize a lot of things i hadn't thought of.
