Being worried?

Of course it is! Nobody wants to think that when they go out everyone is going to avoid them or give them weird looks! Or worse.

But you get over it. Eventually. Might be the first time you go out, might be the tenth...who knows, but at some stage something in your mind will click and it will be different. You will still worry about whether you pass or not, but you stop caring about what the few morons think and worry about yourself!

 

Yes, I was very worried. Now, what I say next might not be the answer you are looking for, but it's from my own experience.

I was worried, but in some ways I was justified, as when I went full time, I didn't pass, not at first. I was walking in the city about 20 days after I went full time and this guy looks at me and then says to his friend, "that's a guy!". It sucked. I got sir'ed a lot of the time, and very rarely if ever passed.

I don't mean to say that everyone is that mean to say that right out on the street, in fact, most people honestly just don't give a crap and leave you a lone.

It's perfectly natural to be worried, because it's a valid fear. I do have this to say about the few month period I had when I went full time and wasn't passing, and that is that I am glad that I went through it.

There are just some things that you need to go full time to be able to work on. My voice improved a lot after I had been full time a few months, and I took care of some other things like eyebrows and started dressing more feminine. That period although really hard at the time, ultimately made me stronger too.

Now, it may be the case that you pass right away too, as some people do, and can pass before hormones even. I was most certainly not one of those people though.

The first few months of going full time (assuming you are thinking about going full time soon as it seems that way from your post) are often difficult for many trans people. It does get better though, and especially at your age I'm sure it is just a matter of time before you pass.

Good luck when you do go out (for the first time?) though! If things don't go well, you've got us

---------- Post added 4th Dec 2013 at 05:15 PM ----------

 

Yeah it must be especially hard though for tall ones like me, I am 6 foot 2 so I don't feel like I will ever have any chance of being read as female.

 

That is completely normal. =p I'm pretty much in the same position you are.

 

Of course I worry all the time! Until I get T, I will always be worried about the voice, the hips, the small arms, the big legs ect. I pass most of the time, but as a 12 years old. I'm always scared that people might notice something, though people don't really think it's disgusting or anything, just strange.

It's perfectly normal to worry about it. If you feel like the gender you're presenting as, you have a good chance to pass. (I pass with relatively long hair by the way).

 

Only all the time. Sometimes I think "yeah, yeah I could maybe pass, maybe someone will think I'm a diminutive femmy guy", but mostly it's just "BAH WHY DO I TRY???"

To be honest though I worry less about what people might say and more about what people might do. All my life, I've had people pick fights with me for less. It's a scarier concept now, though - this isn't the schoolyard anymore, and I feel like people's ability to physically harm me is much greater. Honestly, though, I don't know if I watch myself in public so carefully more because of the trans thing, or because I grew up learning everything I needed to do to avoid being raped (spoilers: the easiest thing to do is to just go bury yourself somewhere, or lock yourself in a bomb shelter from the 60's or something). Anyway, I'm very guarded and very alert, and I think being trans and not passing has only given me another reason to be. As far as I'm concerned I'm worrying for a reason and worrying is helping to keep me safe.