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Gender expression in university

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Purrnalist, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. Purrnalist

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I just realised that I'm probably going to a new uni next year and found myself wondering about my options on my gender expression. To give you some background, I'm a pre everything trans guy and my official details still have my birth name and gender haunting me. I got the referral from my psychiatrist almost two months ago and am thus waiting for my first GIC appointment.

    I'm usually quite open about my gender when meeting new people (less so with people I knew when I was 100% in the closet) and I'd like people to know me as a he and use the name I've chosen. However, there is no way I could pass as a guy because of my looks and voice (etc) so I'm very shy about that too, and it makes meeting new people difficult for me, and a new school means lots of new people.

    I'm just thinking of what to do. Should I just introduce myself with my birth name and let them call me with feminine pronouns or should I let them know what's going to be my real name in a matter of months or years, I wouldn't know because I'm not sure about the timeline here. I'm not out to the people in my current university and it feels horrendous, it's one of the few places where I don't feel safe and more or less... umm, normal, I suppose, and that's why I'm wondering if I should just sort of be myself there. But that option scares me too... I know I prob. shouldn't care about other people and do what feels the best to me myself but the thing is that since it is a social environment, of course people's reactions and reception will affect the way it feels to me. Hmm. Sorry I didn't format this to have any proper questions I'd like to be answered or anything. I could talk about it with my friends but I'm getting paranoid that they will get sick of my eternal struggles if I keep bothering them with this stuff. Which is probably just me being paranoid but still.
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    "Should I just introduce myself with my birth name and let them call me with feminine pronouns"

    Heck no!

    You introduce yourself with your male name, because it is YOUR NAME. If somebody asks about your gender, feel free to explain, but as far as you are concerned, if you are living as a guy you are a guy.

    Every person I've met recently I've introduced myself to them as Holly. I don't pass AT ALL. Not one tiny little bit as far as I can tell. So far, everyone has gone with it. They've had to. I've never given them another name to use. Why give someone the option to call you the wrong name? They might mess up pronouns but that will come with familiarity, but don't give them the option to use the wrong name!
     
  3. Sarcastic Luck

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    I'm a bit worried about this myself since I want to present male, but I'll be shoved in the woman's dorm.
     
  4. bluerain

    Regular Member

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    Sarcastic Luck- I am currently a ftm living at university in a female dorm. I actually came out as transgender in college. I simply said, call me this name and use these pronouns, and the large majority of girls were very accepting. Although I do not know how being transgender is accepted at your college, it was not an issue for me. Just be confident and honest with people and deal with problems when they come. However, you have to consider your safety as well. If you feel unsafe, voice it, and get out of the situation.
     
  5. Sarcastic Luck

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    I'm going to be talking to various faculty to ease into things. I'm not sure how accepted it is, either, but I probably shouldn't worry about it since I haven't even sent in the application yet.
     
  6. BradThePug

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm currently attending college and living on an all female floor of a dorm. I've had some minor issues with a couple of people, but other than that I have not have near the amount of problems that I expected.

    One thing that I did was I emailed all of my professors before the start of the semester and asked them to refer to me as Brad and use male pronouns. All of my professors were really cool about doing that for me!

    I came out my junior year of college, so I had 2 years of being Ashley there already. So, I expected some problems. But it's gone way better than I could've imagined.