I've been out for two years now (yay!) and I'm a big supporter of not reinforcing the usual stereotypes of gay men. I don't wanna be a stupid stereotype at all. But, I'm not very "gay" acting (the way I walk is pretty "straight," the way I talk is relatively "straight," etc.) and to strangers I imagine I seem straight, and sometimes people are surprised when I tell them I'm gay. Now, when it comes to my friends, I let myself loose and I guess I act "gay." And, I don't know, I think this is affecting my confidence a little. Because, when I'm around new people I'm very guarded and tend to come off as being totally straight, but I don't WANT to come off that way. I want to come off as what I am to everyone. Also, when it comes to attracting guys, I wish I could come off as "gayer" because I definitely want a relationship of sorts. You'd think I'd know the ins and outs of being...out after two years, but I still don't have the hang of it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is how do I act more like myself, a gay man who is PROUD of it, to people I don't know? Thanks everyone!
...I'd say it's a bad idea to try to rework your personality. You can wear rainbow shirts, or put some gay pride keychains on your backpack (do college kids use backpacks? IDK man), or something like that. That might do the trick.
I would say that the issue isn't trying to act "gayer." You don't want to act "gayer," you want to act more like yourself and feel like you're not hiding your personality around new people or people you don't know. That's what I thought you were saying at least. If you want to act more like yourself, start doing it. You have permission to be fully and totally you 100%. Who you are is beautiful and valuable and if you don't show yourself to the world, the rest of us miss out on you. Don't fear the limp wrist or the gay lisp or the whatever stereotype, but please do not embrace a stereotype just to be "gayer." There is really no such thing as "gayer" or "straighter." There are only stereotypes and people that are hiding that create the illusion of one way to be straight and one way to be gay. You want a guy to fall in love with you because of your personality. If you are always trying to be something else for others to love you, you will wonder if they really love YOU for the rest of your life.
My friends call me the Gay-Walker, all of their strength and none of their weaknesses, because most people don't believe I'm gay. I wouldn't worry about acting gayer. You ARE gay that is all you need.
