How to even begin?

Well for starters let's think about what transition actually means for you. Think of an ideal body for yourself, like the perfect 'wave-a-magic-wand-and-its-yours' kind of body. What does that look like?

What are we thinking in terms of hair, clothes, body shape...fit, fat, thin muscular, limp, hairy, smooth, bald...roll with it. What would be perfect.

What does this ideal you DO. Is it different to what you do now? If so, what stops you doing it?

If you can think of where you would like to be, you can figure out what steps to take!

I'll give you my example so you can have an idea:

My perfect body would be thin enough to wear a bikini, but not so thin that I look unhealthy or can never eat desert ever again. I want to look damn good in my bikini with real boobs and no bulge downstairs. I want long sexy hair on my head and absoultely nowhere else! I want smooth skin and nice clean nails. Sexy feet! I want to wear clothes that make me look cute, even if I am super tall. Stuff that flows nicely and makes me look good.

In terms of stuff to do, I want to be able to go out in public and have people call me 'Miss' or 'Ma'am'. I want to be able to date a guy and have at least one person think to themselves 'lucky dude!'. But the rest is the same as now.

From that I know I need to grow my hair. I need to lose weight. I need to get hormones help with various bits and I know eventually I'll need surgery. I know I need to take a serious look at my wardrobe and get some new outfits. I know i need to take care of my skin. I know I need to start thinking about shoes and makeup and how they make me look. I know I need to work on my girly mannerisms and how I carry myself.

These are all things I know I need. Some I can work on now, others have to wait. If you can figure some of those out, and only do the ones you are comfortable with, you will have a good start and it will help you see where you need to go next.

How do you tell your family? That really depends on how you think they will take it and who you trust most. Personally, for my family, I told my brother who I trust completely first of all and asked him if he would back me up if I needed it. Then I told the rest one or two at a time over the course of a few weeks. But I'd figure out what you need to do first!

 

Wouldn't it worry you more if it wasn't overwhelming and frightening? Wouldn't it be strange to be able to sit there and just go "Yep, we'll change this and this and this...woah THAT'S gotta go...and we'll have some of that" and not feel even slightly apprehensive about it?

That's the difference between you accepting part of you, and you running away from who you are. When you accept part of you, you worry, you want to make sure you get it right, because in the end, you are doing this to be happy and comfortable. When you are running away you don't care, as long as it's different it's fine.

At least you can take from this some confidence that you are heading in the right direction and for the right reasons.

 

That would be pretty strange...

 

Just take it a bit at a time. That's the way I'm finding a comfortable place in my transition. Like, the very first step in my transition was simply trying on boxers. I had always worn female underwear beneath my jeans but for once I decided to try on a pair of boxers that had been folded up beneath stacks of female underwear. And, I figured out I looooved it and never went back. After that, I tried on cargo jeans and baggy graphic T's; got very comfortable with that. So, just a step at a time, don't think about anything major or question yourself too early. Just roll with it.

 

Yeah, like Brian said, slow does it. That's how it was for me. I added boxers to my wardrobe, stopped shaving when I could get away with it. Began weeding out some of my women's clothes, bought guy clothes (most of it from thrift stores- best option for building a wardrobe when you're a poor transguy, I think), and whenever I could get away with it, wore sports bras.

In fact, for the first few months after realizing/coming out, I didn't really bind. Sure, I'd experiment with duct tape, but for me it was just sports bras and flannel over a t-shirt. I finally got myself a binder through the LGBT group I used to belong to (in fact, I recommend finding yourself an LGBT or, better yet, a trans* support group, if you've got one in the area).

So, basically, small steps are the key.

You know, tell supportive friends (which you seemed to have done.) If they're willing, you can have them refer to you with male pronouns. Now might be a good time to think about a name you'd prefer, something that's a bit more gender affirming. Look through baby books/websites, think of family names that suit you, and just see what works. Don't have to settle on anything, I know guys who went through a couple names before they found the one that fit, but I found for me that helped when it came to getting out there and living out as a guy.

Your wardrobe's going to be a big one, as I mentioned before. And this is something you can work on even while in the closet. Just add shirts, pants to the wardrobe. I presented pretty feminine before I came out (and still live female, for the most part), so I'd go out clothes shopping and slip in a couple guys' shirts while I was buying feminine clothing. Watch what other guys wear, think of what works for you. If passing as male's a big thing for you, then I recommend going to the top-of-the-page resources. There's an excellent guide: "The FtM Guide to Looking Like a Hot Dude". Covers how to work with an FtM body and dress well. Not perfect but it'll give you a good idea of what might work with your frame.

Next, coming out. That all depends on you. But my advice would be to come out to friends first, whoever you think will be supportive. If you can, join a support group. Come out to your allies. Then, when you feel you're ready to come out to family, you have people on your side. Question: Do you feel your family's open-minded/accepting? Be prepared for any and all reactions- seriously.

Now. Transition. This, I think, if anything, isn't something you want to go into blind. And if you're scared shitless, you're doing it right.

Has to be something you want and is right for you. Transition is a highly personal process. For some, that means HRT, top, and bottom surgery. For others, maybe top and HRT, nothing else. Others, top. Others, nothing. Nothing's right or wrong, what matters is what makes you happy.

So, get yourself in to see a gender therapist if you can. Talk it over, see what works for you. You'll need a signing from a therapist if you want to begin HRT, procedures, regardless (unless you seek out informed consent clincs- but that's a different story and I'm assuming there isn't much in the area)

Alright, here if you have any question. Best of luck, man.