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Having male friends

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by MrSmooth, Dec 31, 2013.

  1. MrSmooth

    MrSmooth Guest

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    I have alot of guy friends, I hang around my dance group specifically, they all consider me a dude, And they know me as Brandon and as a guy only because thats what they see. When I stepped into the shower I did alot of thinking and it made me upset realizing that, I'm not biologically male and that ill never have what they have their all real guys and I feel like sometimes I'm a fake, Especially when we talk about sex and girls, Or even masturbation typical guy stuff, But I realize I can't really relate and it's been eating me up inside I hate being in this body, It's so fustrating it doesn't feel right, Ill never be biologically male and experience some of what they experience, Like at homecoming not even having a dick for a girl to feel when I was being danced on, When it got hot and all the dudes were removing their shirts, And I couldn't do it and one of my dudes had his shirt all the way undone, I couldn't but to be alittle upset especially at the fact that I couldn't get a boner anyways, Idk it just makes me think, Why I can't be normal like them, They all have dated or have girlfriends know, Ive never had a gf or a kiss its not cool at all, And its unfair:icon_sad:
     
  2. justjade

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    I know how you feel. It eats me up to see bio-males take their shirts off and then realize that I can't. I can't pee standing up. I'm 25, and I've never had a boner. It just hurts.

    However, you and I are not "fake" guys. We're real guys just like any other guy is a guy. We just don't have the equipment. And yeah, that does suck, and it does get me down a lot. I have a lot of guy friends, too, and I can't talk about a lot of the stuff they talk about, like sports and cars because I don't know a whole lot about them. A lot of times, I feel very unmanly because loud cars annoy me, and I think watching sports is boring. I like art and music, and a lot of guys I know don't. I think the trick is just to find people you fit in with. That's about the best suggestion I have.

    Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and commend you for being brave enough to voice your fears and doubts.
     
  3. BookDragon

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    See this is the sort of thing that worries me about meeting new friends. I'd like to make some female friends if I'm going to make any new ones at all, because at least then I CAN go and do girly stuff if I want to, but I worry I can't relate to them. I have a couple of female friends atm but we always hang out with other guys so it's not like we get all girly very often!!

    I feel for you dude! (*hug*)
     
  4. MrSmooth

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  5. CharlieHK

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    I didn't know it was possible to have male "friends". Dear god all my male "friends" just flirt with me and insult my "boyfriend". Uhg.

    The thing that gets me is it's hard to connect with guys because i don't have what they have to even relate. My "boyfriend" had to explain why guys don't cross their legs to me i was so uneducated.

    :bang:
     
  6. MrSmooth

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    Well I don't lool like a female at all, I also dress nice as a guy I don't bring off any female energy, Every one of my close friends sees me as male, It depends on how interact, If your overly feminine and look good as a girl then yes your gonna get hit on, But that's pretty much all ive been around though is guys, Its really not that hard, But I have a dance crew and we talk about our dancing, Sports and girls pretty much, I mean, I also have a dad, So I know but I'm all male have always been really, I know not all transguys identify as fully male, And foreal you don't know that it can hurt your balls and that they need air, I have phantom limb so Ive known that without having to be told??
     
    #6 MrSmooth, Dec 31, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013
  7. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    I knew getting hit in the balls was painful. I didn't understand why some guy could cross their legs and that at other times not be able to. Guy have to rearrange their junk, vaginas don't need rearranging.

    To top this off I went to a really backwards hick school for sex ed (i go to a city school now, wayyyy better). So my sex knowledge was not very good.

    I'm in the closet. I don't cross dress to school, and even if i did what a binder gonna do when I'm a 32G-cup? The closest I've been to touching a penis is my "boyfriend" but she doesn't like talking to me about stuff like that because it reminds her that she has a penis in the first place.

    Uhg, but I'm ranting now. Sadly I only have female friends irl.
     
  8. MrSmooth

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    I mean well that probally explains why guys hit on you and its hard to get male friends, If your in the closets of course thats tuff, Yea all my guy friends see me as male, But yea, The gender dysphoria gets ruff at times, Like know
     
    #8 MrSmooth, Dec 31, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013
  9. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    I'll probably be in the closet my whole life. But even online (alot of anom sites i just put my gender as male) I can't really related. I don't much care for sports, and I also don't care for cooking classes. Basically I'm a social hermit.

    The only way I can converse with guys is too be way too perverted for them to hit on. At lunch times when I'm feeling brave I'll chill at the stoners table because they talk about sex and shit so I can sometimes get a dirty joke in. But other than that I only talk to other girls.

    It's nice to hear that you have some bio guy friends who view you as male. I dunno, I feel like girls are widely more accepting. I feel like the only true friends I'll have in life will either be transmen or girls.
     
  10. MrSmooth

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    Well girls are cool to but sometimes I need to be around my bros cuz some things they don't understand like for an ex why were so peverted at times lol
     
  11. CharlieHK

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    Guy talk about sex all the time. But when I try talking to my friend Sarah about perverted stuff she just goes "ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew" and if her boyfriend is around normally he'll laugh an add on to the pervertedness.

    Kelsey and I are about equally perverted, but sometimes i don't like talking to her about sex because I'm also in a relationship with her.

    I've kinda created a bad name for myself. I'm the most perverted "chick" in the school so I must also be a slut:eusa_naug, but when "guys" be perverted they're just being guys.
     
  12. BookDragon

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    I must have the strangest group of friends...not once in the 10 years I've been friends with them has the topic become perverted in any way...
     
  13. MrSmooth

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    Yes me and my friends are very peverted, But were just being guys
     
  14. Girishbbe

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    I have had the same experience. None of my guy friends are perverted. Though I know a few women who are. I think if you try to relate to men based on male stereotypes that might not be the best way to do it. Men don't actually act like they do in beer ADs. (Ok some do, but most don't in my experience.)
     
  15. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    BURN THE WITCH

    NAh I'm just joking. I've known groups of guys who are absolutely appalled by some of the things i joke about. I find out quite awkwardly too sometimes.

    >During science class talking bout dinos
    >boring.jpeg
    >mumble "the dinos are dead because you touch yourself at night"
    >Guy next to me looks startled
    >molested this person's innocence
    >they sit somewhere else next class
     
  16. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Never really had male friends until after I came out. Actually...didn't have a ton of friends at all. :lol: Used to hang around with LGBT girls because we tended to have the same interests (writing, anime, women...).

    And yeah, now from the other angle, it's frustrating as hell not being "the same" as other guys- Like knowing it'll be a few years before I can go shirt allergic, or know what they're talking about when they're going on about uptucks.

    Is it possible to find FtM friends? For me, definitely helped knowing guys who knew what it was like sitting through Girl Scout meetings...
     
  17. MrSmooth

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    No thats just how we talk, And at my age its true guys are peverted.



    And yeah, now from the other angle, it's frustrating as hell not being "the same" as other guys- Like knowing it'll be a few years before I can go shirt allergic, or know what they're talking about when they're going on about uptucks.

    Is it possible to find FtM friends? For me, definitely helped knowing guys who knew what it was like sitting through Girl Scout meetings...[/QUOTE]



    I'm fine with having bio male friends I think you guys are getting the wrong idea it's nice to have bio male friends I can relate to them on alot, Plus their in my dance crew anyway

    P.S I don't even know whats that like
     
    #17 MrSmooth, Dec 31, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013
  18. BookDragon

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    What the hell is an uptuck?
     
  19. Girishbbe

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    16 is kind of a perverted age.

    ---------- Post added 31st Dec 2013 at 03:23 PM ----------

    I think that is where you store your penis pointing up rather then wrapped down. Though It's a new word for me.
     
  20. MrSmooth

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    Yes it's but were not that bad lol