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Issues with parents

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by anonym, Jan 7, 2014.

  1. anonym

    anonym Guest

    Is it just me or does anyone ever feel sometimes like your parents are completely oblivious to how difficult it is to be trans? As in they don't even want to try and understand
     
  2. clockworkfox

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    well I'm too scared to come out at home, so I don't really know.
     
  3. BradThePug

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
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    Bisexual
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    I feel like this sometimes. My parents, while they are accepting, really have a tendency to flub up my pronouns in public.. being in a conservative area of Ohio.. it's dangerous for me to be outed like that in public. When I bring it up, they just act like it's no big deal. It took some dude yelling in my face after they referred to me as "she".. Since then, they have taken my concerns much more seriously.

    I think that with my parents, they don't want to face the fact that I am going to have a harder life than many others. I think it's their way of trying to "normailze" my life in their heads. This could be what is going on with your parents as well.
     
  4. Ruthven

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    With me, it was on thanksgiving, and I was correcting my mum on my pronouns as usual, and she was being annoying and saying the wrong pronouns repetitively all at once to get at me, and blah blah blah we probably argued a bit. Then at one point I was walking into another room and saying that it hurts (her using wrong pronouns) and then later she truly called me he for the first time, and has been doing it ever since, though she slips up, and when she's talking to people on the phone says the wrong pronouns and she says it's because they don't know which is understandable.

    Also, when she gave me this little phone she had, she put Ruthven into it as well. She's actually texted me from work on my birthday and new years and called me Ruthven in them. And a couple times she's tried saying a part of my true name aloud, but for some reason she's said "Roo" and I just tell her call me "Ruthven" or "Rude" But she's been still using half of my old name all the time. And on my birthday she crossed out daughter on a card she gave me and put son.

    But yeah, before she started coming around she was always saying the wrong shit and not caring and stuff. She still has her moments, though they're more rare, like this one time when she was calling me, I heard her say daughter during the point before you leave a message (like for some reason our thing can record stuff before the beep basically) like she was talking to her boyfriend in the background, and when I brought it up to her and that's why I was kinda closed off when talking to her when she was asking about the newspaper and stuff, she was all like "so shoot me" and was like kinda cold and toneless when she got off the phone saying "okay love you bye" all in one quick sentence...

    But there are other times like when she was on the phone with someone from the court, and was having trouble with them, and she was like "my daughter is right here blah blah blah" wanted to use me as a witness or whatever to their giving her issues. And when i protested and got upset, she said it was cause she was stressed or something. basically she doesn't mean to I think and it just happens with her I guess. And that's usually how she is. She's usually says she's sorry and stuff when she says that.

    So yeah anonym, hopefully yours will come around. My mum took a year before she really started, it's all about patience I guess which sucks, but they may at some point start coming around and take you more seriously.
     
  5. anonym

    anonym Guest

    I can understand it's hard for parents (it's good that your mum's trying :slight_smile: ) but when it's a case of life or death (as in dysphoria makes you feel suicicdal) as it has been with me then surely they would want to help and try and understand but mine don't even try. I tried to explain how it feels to be trans by saying imagine tomorrow you wake up as the opposite gender and you have to dress in clothes you feel uncomfortable about and cope with showering when you've got the wrong damn body. They thought for a moment and said...well if it were me I would just accept that is what I was and get on with life :bang: wrong answer! :icon_sad:
     
  6. Miiaaaaa

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    Location:
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    Can't help I'm afraid, too nervous to come out at all. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. Nick07

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    I don't think it's always about taking someone seriously. I have seen a video once and the parents of a little trans boy were happy and devastated at the same time. They were doing their best, but at one moment they started to cry when they were talking about how hard it was to lose their daughter. They had lived with someone, had their dreams for her. I can only imagine that for the parents it can be as traumatic as for the trans person.