Im 24"birth female". I was sexually abused by my father as a child, but then went to a loving home for the rest of my teens I was always "bisexual" (even before the abuse) but never questioned my gender. Obviously, the past is done and I am now who I am. Ive always been a tomboy but have used my feminine appearance to attract cis-men. It worked but I always feel that power struggle. I always feel like Im not being honest because last year, I realized Im genderfluid and started dressing andro. I am not andro at work or around my family, only in private and special situations. My exbf was understanding of me being andro and i felt safe with him. We split up and I wanted to only be with women. After we broke up, I reverted to being "female" for the attraction and attention. Its been okay, until today. I went on a date a few days ago with a cismale that is straight. I know I couldnt tell him any of this without shocking him. But we made out a little, and I felt uncomfortable in our roles. I did not want to be submissive, even in the "normal" way (ie. guy takes lead with woman, sex is heteronormative). Ive had no issues at all when it came to sex with girls, I always felt like a woman for them. But Ive experimented with being andro and girls seem to run away because they like "women" Im confused about what this means for my gender identity. I just had sex (as a man) with a crossdressing man (mtF). I had a great time being a man and feeling both his feminine and masculine sides. So if I go on a limb and just say I am pansexual, how does this effect my gender identity? tldr: Im a bio female that questions identity, and have had sex with men, women, and now a trans/crossdressing mtf. I enjoyed being male, asked to be called male pronouns, and really loved being called "sir" and my male name "Chase". I also like going to work as a female, and I always check the X box on questionaires with female whenever asked, and I dont hesitate. Does this make me gender fluid? Just a crossdresser? I feel so confused and I really need help
Your sexuality in terms of who you want to have sex with doesn't affect your gender identity at all. What you feel you are when you're having sex on the other hand, could definitely affect it. You could possibly be gender fluid because in your own words, sometimes you are happy being a guy, sometimes a girl, and it depends on the situation. That isn't my way of saying you ARE I really just mean it's a possibility. Which sort of situations do you like to be a guy? And which sort do you prefer to be a girl?
When I first came out as being genderfluid, I was dressing andro pretty much all the time. I liked being seen as "one of the guys". Most recently, Ive been "femme" only and have felt a slight disconnect. It wasnt until my experience the other night, where I was having sex as a "guy" that I realized that part of me is still there. Theres a lot of situations I want to be a guy in, and a few that I like being a girl in. I like being a girl at work. I feel like in my personal life, theres more of a divide. In sex, I think I prefer being "a guy". edit- i just had sex as a female, and Im not sure if its because of a lack of chemistry with the man, but I didnt like him touching my lady bits..I didnt like being the "girl". Does that help at all?
Sounds like you might be gender fluid. Perhaps are you are a lesbian when you're female and gay when male.
