Hi, well this gonna take a while. I had a dream about me as a woman, but that happened long time ago. I do therapy for crisis reasons in my life I had but getting better, anyway my doctors told me that sometimes dreams are telling something which I thought it was the opposite way through my crisis I'm not saying that I might be gay only that maybe I feel more as a woman? I mean there are some likes about me that straight wouldn't think or do. One is that I love musicals. My big dream is to become a broadway star! I love theater and acting and dancing. Sometimes I listen to Barbara Straisand and even Gloria Gaynor. I even in my childhood I was girly and I kinda like it and sometimes I speak kinda girly too. I noticed more know that when I talk to someone I make that voice. My crisis started when I met a guy in the internet from US and it did not work out but one thing was that we had a lot of cyber sex which it's something that now I can't. Anyway through those crisis I met after girls and I didn't know how to talk to them so as crazy as it may sounds I found a site in the internet saying that if a girl touches her hair it means they like me, like a secret code. But the more I met other girls I started believing people sending me signals...so I went crazy for that. Hey now I'm fine much better than before. I tend to watch straight porn but for some people told me here that watching porn doesn't mean you like women, it means you are attracted to them but in real life it's different. There are emotions and that's what moves when you are with someone. So These last years I noticed that I'm more open with girls, I even noticed a guy had a crush on me because he told me for other reasons we didn't hang out...because I knew him for 2 days and he was a bit creepy I guess you know what I mean. Sometimes through my crisis I was a bit homophobic and well with this guy in the internet it made me think I wasted my time and that's why I went half crazy to be honest. One time when I was studying theater my acting teacher told me I look girly and that wouldn't work out as an actor and one time when we we were doing a rehearsal and she told me I thought you were gonna act like a queen but you didn't. I know. I had bullying when I was in high school, I was always different from other people, I got beat up because I didn't know how to defend myself, I told my friends I was gay and they hurt me with jokes, so well the point I'm trying to make and find an answer is I'm not sure if I'm gay or straight.I'm dating this girl which I told her about my crisis, I mean everything. And well I'm not really attracted to her. I like her but only that she might like me too but I think more than that...because well she asked me if I find her ugly, because I didn't answer to her phone calls and well I told her that no, we're only friends...so I had this dream 3 years ago laying in a bed as a woman. I mean a woman body and I always had this dream of have a partner who's a drag queen. I don't know why I always had this idea of have a drag queen boyfriend. So many things I told now haha but I guess with more info more understanding about myself. Thanks for reading the message and looking forward your answers.
So aside from thinking you might act a bit less masculine than the average guy, what exactly are you reasons for thinking you might be gay?
First you're cute! Haha because your profile says to tell you this! Well, I always had problems with talking with guys, even with my dad. When I see a man acting girly I don't know why but I feel like I want to talk with him. I see myself in the future not with a woman, I feel like I would fit more if I was a woman.
I see... Well from what you've said so far, and feel free to add to it if there is anything else, I wouldn't worry to much about being trans...you've not mentioned anything other than the dream and I wouldn't want anyone to start worrying about something that huge over something so small. I'm sort of getting the feeling that you are pretty sure you're attracted to guys but don't necessarily want to be gay...is that right or have I misinterpreted?
Thanks for the help and advice I kinda not accept it cause the bullying, the feeling of being alone, the jokes.. I guess to all you said and now that I'm thinking the better thing is try and see how it goes which is what I'm doing with this girl but it's just I don't see myself with a girl. I don't see myself with someone completly open being straight and about the trans thing well I kinda see myself to a woman than a man, you know tough man, mean man with muscles and I don't know...I guess I just need to try and see where to go.
