What're some responses you've gotten when you came out as trans?

I've been lucky really. My mom, was not really surprised, since I had bought a trans* flag at pride. She was more surprised I didn't tell her earlier. My mom told my dad (with my permission) and he said "do you think I'm fucking blind?". People in my dorm have been pretty cool. I've had a couple of issues with people (you're going to hell, you're never been a man type of things) but the dorm staff took care of it really fast. My university boss was a little bit sad, because I was the only girl on the crew.. other than that, he was fine with it..lol. My grandma, while she acts like she is fine with it to my parents, when she corners me alone, she will try to convince me that I am a "pretty girl", and that she "does not want to see me become a man". My cousins, they have all been awesome, some even used my chosen name (Brad) on my Christmas cards.

 

Confusion and "oh, okay" reactions.
I'm in California, you see.

 

I've had a few people going "Woah..." and then 10 minutes later coming up and saying, "so does that mean" and making a chopping motion into their hand.

I've had mums response which was unpleasant at best...

Mostly it's just been a stunned sort of acceptance. Everyone's been basically OK with it even if they haven't had any idea what to say!

 

The friends I've told have all been awesome and supporting. They're admittedly all online, but still. One is actually pretty protective of me and if we hung out irl, I'm fairly sure that he'd give death glares to anyone who dared say something bad about me.

My family...Eh...She was very negative. Lots of assumptions, hateful comments, only concerned about how it's going to affect her based on pasted experience (hint: in her world anything with a penis is pretty much evil) and so forth.

 

Friend: "Oh what? But you don't come off as a guy..." *makes a point to try and remember to validate true gender from now on when it's safe to do so, adjusts relatively quickly*

Another friend: Not entirely out as trans, but he knows I'm nb, to which his response was "Oh cool " After that, he's asked a few questions ("so why do you guys bind if it gets uncomfortable?") out of genuine curiosity, and I've given him apparently acceptable answers ("because sometimes it's more uncomfortable not to")

Boyfriend: "I kind of knew...I still want to be with you though, you stick by me through all my crap and I love you" *alternately worries about possibility of future masculinization and his attraction to girls and says "fuck it who cares? I'm attracted to you."*

Also, because it's funny -

Several internet friends: "Wait, are you trans?? Oh shit, I'm calling you he, is that right? I've been reading you as a he. Oh, that's right? Oh good! I've always thought of you as a guy anyway!"

 

Actually I think it's quite a shame my best friend knew so much about trans stuff already. I love that he's so cool about it and really encouraging, but I like answering peoples questions and nobody ever seems to have any xD

 

Oh no, plenty of questions await xD

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I only told some internet friends and they ask "Are you sure?"
while my family doesn't believe it, not really. Though in the first place they do not know much about transgender...

 

"Oh, alright. I'll be here for you." *cue months of absolute silence on the topic*

 

The one person I told was very accepting.
Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead. :L

 

When I came out to my brother that I was a trans female he looked at me and he said "you're not transgender you have a personality disorder."

To my surprise my mom was the most pleasant person I spoke to about this.

 

My two friends that I've come out to were really good about it. One of them was surprised because she was just about to tell me she was a lesbian, and the other responded with "That explains a lot." followed by "So wait, that means you want...?"

My parents, eh, I don't think my mom really understood what it meant. She told my dad later, and he pretty much hasn't talked to me since.

 

From my mother, I got the whole 5 stages of grief.

From my significant other, we came out to each other( MtF and FtM). After our discussion, this was the exact text I got from her (I saved it).

"I love you. It is just so perfect to finally have somebody acknowledge I'm a girl. Just so perfect".

And then a after our first full day of being trans* I got the text "I am soooooooo happy to be your girlfriend now. I love you, you are a fucking amazing sexy handsome boyfriend."

So of course my best reaction was from her.

 

I'm not even sure they've invented the word for how jealous I am of that xD

 

First of all 'it's fine. we'll still love you'

Then after weeks of a lingering bad atmosphere and silence.

'You don't act like a man, there's nothing masculine about you'

'It's a personality disorder, wait till you see the psychiatrist. It's all in your head' :-(

'You'll look stupid with short hair'

Basically it's all downhill for me from now

---------- Post added 14th Jan 2014 at 11:15 PM ----------

P.S. Clockworkfox and CharlieHK. I am SO jealous of your amazing partners lol

 

My mother went through all five stages of grief, and she's still coming to terms with it, but she's been coming around for a while now.

My dad on the other hand, didn't make too big of a deal out of it and used my correct name/pronouns right off the bat which was really nice. Though I assume it was easier for him to adapt to, considering I live with my mum, and I don't see him often.

My brother, the first person I came out to, has been the biggest support (besides my girlfriend). He's helped me through nearly everything, and my coming out helped encourage him to come out as bisexual. As for my other brother, he's a bit iffy about it considering I was his 'baby sister' for nearly seventeen years, so it was a bit of a drastic change for him. But he's been respectful about it, and uses the right name/pronouns with me. He only has difficultly seeing me as his younger brother.

As for friends... differed opinions. My best friend of nearly a decade decided to terminate any connection she had with me, and that definitely was the worst outcome out of all the times I've come out. I don't really like reflecting on it much, because it's her loss anyhow... I'm just perplexed that she really couldn't come to terms with me being trans, enough for us to go separate ways after being so close. On the other hand, I managed to meet much more supportive, and encouraging people.

As for my girlfriend, she's been awesome. By far the biggest support I've had. She was with me when I got my first shot of T, celebrated with me when my name was legally changed, and with her being a psych major, she's incorporated my medical/social transition into one of her on-going case studies/essays. (She's currently studying to become a psychologist, wanting to focus in gender therapy.) I can't articulate my thoughts into words, how much I love her and the support she's given me throughout this entire year, and (hopefully) many more years to come. She's also mentioned I make a much cuter boy than I do a girl. I liked that compliment.

I've come out to so many people, that I can't really keep track of everyone's reactions, but I'd say I'm extremely lucky with how tolerant my family, my girlfriend (and her family), and my friends and professors have been about it.

 

My mom asked me why I would even want a penis. But overall shes accepting sorta in a way.

 

When I came out to my parents, they told me as long as I'm happy I can be anyone I wanted to be. Though they're still confused by the whole thing...still working on that, only been out to them for little more than a year now and it's very hard for me to talk to people about this topic.

When I came out to my best friend, she told me she didn't mind or care how I identified and that I'd always be her best friend.

Coming out to another "friend", he asked if it was a "Man stuck in a woman's body thing" and after telling him it was, he was all "Oh...Okay, whatever. "

Then the third friend I came out to...well we kinda came out to each other as trans at the same time. :lol: He was like I want to be a boy so bad! and I told him I did too...so that was really easy.

 

Aside from my fiance, people I associated with in high school had the best reactions. One said something like I'm still one of the guys (he was more curious about what pansexuality was than anything) and another commended me on being brave with coming out on Facebook.