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FtM and the world

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by BookDragon, Jan 15, 2014.

  1. BookDragon

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    Before I joined this forum, I didn't know FtM was a thing. I didn't, had no idea what-so-ever. Doesn't make much sense if I think about it, but you grow up seeing girls wearing 'mens' clothes and nobody says a word, but a guy puts on 'girls' clothes and the world shuns him. Point is, until I came here I had a lot of random exposure to the idea of MtF trans things, but absolutely NONE for FtM.

    This got me thinking. I know I'm not the only person to have experienced this, and that bothers me, because I find that while going out in girls clothes while the world see you as male (even if you don't) can be hard, I can't imagine how hard it must be to have the world tell you that all girls do that and you're just taking it too far...

    Is this complete lack of exposure to FtM issues somewhat universal or is it just that I never really noticed it?
     
  2. Ash93

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    You just helped me figure out I was trans and before I actually researched this stuff, I thought transgender meant you were literally an MTF. I didn't think a vice versa(did I do that right?) applied, because my first experience with transgender people was the model Isis King and it just went on from there.
     
  3. anonym

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    I didn't really know about ftms at all either until I started to feel I was a man and looked into it. I was always aware of girls who were tomboys and butch women but the funny thing is, even though I'm ftm I never wanted to look like or dress like a tomboy. Perhaps it was because I still saw them as girls - girls who looked like boys - which I couldn't identify with because I was (unknowingly) trans.

    But yeah I had long known about mtf and male cross dressers but never ftms :-S If I interpret what you are saying correctly, it is hard to explain to my family the difference between being a masculine woman and actually being trans. They say that however I want to look and dress I can do that as a woman in women's clothes. I can still have a relationship with a 'male' and 'female' dynamic. But no, the point is I am not a woman and if people don't want to see that or understand it...it kind of feels disrespectful to my identity. Not because there is anything wrong with being a masculine woman, but because it is not who I am.
     
  4. Nick07

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    No, Holly, you are not the only one with that experience...
     
  5. setnyx

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    I totally agree with anonym! It is disrespectful of our gender identity. I
     
  6. Miiaaaaa

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    You have a point, there doesn't seem to be a lot of exposure of FtMs. I think a lot of people just see them as "butch".

    Or, perhaps it's a double standard, who knows.
     
  7. clockworkfox

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    I honest to god didn't know FTM's existed until I was already 19 or 20, in college, and trying to deal with my gender identity. I feel kind of stupid really, it makes sense that if there are MTF's, there would be a reverse equivalent. I just always struggled to figure out why I wanted to look "butch", but didn't associate with the idea of being butch. Then it all clicked.
     
    #7 clockworkfox, Jan 15, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2014
  8. Miiaaaaa

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    I have a friend from school who is FtM, so I had some idea. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  9. Caillin

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    I actually researched alot on transgender people before I realized I was transgender like before it all clicked. So I knew both at the same time.
     
  10. suninthesky

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    I figured out ftm existed when I was 17-18. I knew I was into girls, but never came out because I felt like the term lesbian definitely didn't apply to me.
     
  11. Oddish

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    'Cause if a trans guy doesn't 'pass', he's assumed to be butch, so there goes visibility. And It's seen as commonplace for an DFAB person to be masculine/androgynous but still kind of taboo for an DMAB person to be feminine/androgynous. So, FtMs tend to 'blend in' more 'cause of that contradiction, seeing as it's not taboo or uncommon to see girls dressed in more masculine, boyish clothing. Double standards. I mean, why would trans* guys exist, they're obviously girls who prefer to dress and act masculine, that's common, but a boy who prefers to dress and act feminine? Definitely trans. :rolle:

    To be honest, I actually think the first time I heard of trans people, was an article about a trans guy.. but I didn't really venture much in the means of trans*-related information until only a few years ago, where visibility for the trans* guy community has grown a bit, I think.
     
  12. Daydreamer1

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    It's weird for me because I first heard that transition was a thing back in 2003 or 2004, but I never saw much of the community until I was 14 or so, mainly with the FTM community (despite knowing and feeling everything, it didn't freight train hit me that I needed to do this until I was 16).

    I was never one of those people who identified as a "lesbian", because that wasn't the term for me. But of course, I was that kid that unknowingly discovered packing as a kid and knew when I was a kid that I was a boy (with some quirks of course).
     
  13. angel626

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    I had no clue until a few months ago when I started to accept my own feelings and decided to research it. I knew that men were mtf but it blew my mind when I discovered there was ftm. Honestly I felt kind of stupid for not knowing.
     
  14. 51chameleons

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    I had never even heard of a transguy until I saw "Boys Don't Cry" in 9th grade- and we all know how encouraging that movie is. As soon as I found out that I was even a little attracted to women, I just clung to a lesbian identity because I couldn't handle being a straight girl and because I knew that I could be masculine and still be "attractive". I thought that was my best option. My problem was that nothing butch was ever butch enough for me, not because of a deficit of masculinity, but because butch lesbians aren't men and don't want to be men- something I didn't understand for a while. Being in the LGBTQIA community gave me some exposure to trans* issues, though, so when I realized why I wasn't satisfied with being butch I finally had a place to turn to for answers. Before that I just thought I was a freak.
     
  15. BookDragon

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    I'd like to say I'm glad I'm not the only one, because at least it means I'm not a lone fool, but actually I'm finding this somewhat troubling.
     
  16. Niko

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    I had no idea FtM was a thing. I've heard of transgender people before, but always thought they were MtF. Never once did I think FtM was possible. It wasn't until I was 19 years old, when one of my friends was in a relationship with a FtM did I realize it was actually possible. That's what actually got me curious on the whole transgender thing...and then everything clicked.
     
  17. ember

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    I found out trans* was a thing from the TV tropes page "Transsexual" which actually included a pretty thorough explanation on trans* things. So I pretty much knew they were both things at the same time.
     
  18. loserboyWonder

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    i didn't even know the word existed for a super long time. i just avoided gender issues altogether until i was about 11, when i thought "i'm a boy with a different kind of body" and that was that !!

    while it is very frustrating to be completely ignored by the media and such, i would imagine the ladies have a worse time. i'm sorry society is so gross ! :frowning2:
     
  19. StarBoi

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    I would have never known ftm was a thing if it hadn't have been for a crossplay forum that hide a high volume of trans. 6 years ago there was hardly any info online about ftm, and it's crazy how much has change. But like someone else said, a lot of ftm guys are automatically read as butch lesbians, so it's a little harder to tell how many are out there.