1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Done.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Anonymous19, Jan 15, 2014.

  1. Anonymous19

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2013
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    I'm at my breaking point. All I can think about is how much I hate myself and how worthless I am. I'm tired of being picked on, I'm tired of being left out, I'm tired of being forgotten. I'm tired of being me. I posted one time before and explained who I am, my thoughts and my feelings. And that link is right here in case anyone would like hear about my situation: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...eally-need-some-kind-words-i-hate-myself.html
    I got so many kind words from many people that seemed to help me a bit, but at the same time I couldn't help but think that none of these people know me. After commenting on my post they went back to their everyday lives, not even remembering my story. Honestly, I'm not sure why I am here once more. Maybe to get that feeling that maybe someone out there in the world gives a crap about me or my problems, even if that comfort only lasts a few days. I'm not sure. I do have questions though. Why is being different so wrong? Why do so many people decide they don't like me because I'm not like most girls with the way I dress or act or talk. Why is it so wrong? Why have I lost friends because they assumed I'm gay? Why am I shunned for expressing myself? And ultimately why does society suck? People don't like me because they think I'm gay/transgender. I'd hate to see what would happen if they found out I actually was.
     
  2. earthlvr510

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NH
    I can't convince you not to hate yourself, only you can do that. But you are NOT worthless. Life has dealt you a shit hand. And I get it. Just getting up and brushing my teeth is a trail because there's a girls face staring back at me, getting dressed in either women's clothes that make me feel like an idiot or men's clothes that don't and can't fit right. Going to work where I get called sweetie and lady and having to grit my teeth and smile because the fucking customer comes first. Every single second of every day I'm reminded that I'm not and never will be normal. You are not alone, a lot of people on ec have been right where you are. The one thing that keeps me going is that I know it will get better. Your 19 so, hopefully I'm not sure of your situation, you can move out or will be heading to college soon. Most colleges have discussion groups and clubs were you will be accepted and appreciated for just being you and from my experience there more open minded then the jerks in highschool. And it sounds like getting away from home would do you some good. Just hold on. Find one thing that is or could be in your future or something right now that is worth putting up with the shit your in now and hold onto it with all you've got. If you ever need to talk please message me, I'll help however I can. (&&&)(&&&)
     
  3. Anonymous19

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2013
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Thanks. It's good to know that I am not the only one with these issues. Well not good, I wouldn't wish my daily pain on anyone, but you get what I mean. I would like to thank you for extending your kindness and allowing me to message you to talk if need be. The same goes for you. I'm not sure how much help I would be but I'm available. One thing I don't understand is how nice everyone here is. I'm not used to people being nice to me, but everyone I have spoke to on EC has had nothing but nice things to say. It blows my mind... In a good way lol
     
  4. earthlvr510

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NH
    (*hug*) I'm glad I could help. It was a bit of a shock when I first got on here and figured out I wasn't the only one either. I wouldn't wish this on anyone either but it's nice to know. This is where I go when things get really bad, your never short a shoulder.