This really isn't a bright and airy topic...more of a rant, but eh...I ramble. I need some advice here. It is incredibly difficult to get up on a normal day and not think about dysphoria that will suddenly pop up whenever someone triggers it. Whether it's walking down the hall and being pretty envious over a girl's curves and voice or just seeing a boy with really long hair, it just reminds me that I'll never be like that. I want to grow my hair out, to look a bit more feminine, but my mom will probably force me to get it cut. I want to shave my legs but I'm afraid of social ostracization, and back to my mom keeping me out of the shower with no time to do any of that. I'm just asking, how do you deal with this. The constant reminder that I'll never be feminine, that instead I'll just become a grotesquely masculine man for the rest of life. How should I calm myself down to wait just until the end of high school to start transitioning. I swear I'm going to lose it if I'm told that I'm becoming a man one more bloody time.
"The constant reminder that I'll never be feminine, that instead I'll just become a grotesquely masculine man for the rest of life." I deal with it by knowing that the above statement is a complete pile of crap. You might never be the perfect girl, but that doesn't mean you won't EVER be feminine. If you want to shave your legs, do it, trousers cover them nicely. If time is an issue, do it bit by bit. Shave the tops of each leg one day, shave the bottoms the next. Shave a little bit at a time and it doesn't take too long. If you want to grow your hair out, try it. If your mum says you have to get it cut, you can try and persuade her otherwise, but if you give up on the idea before she's said anything, you'll just be miserable. Give yourself some hope! Are you out at school at all?
No, I'm not out at school, it just always comes back to the fear of being rejected. I know of two people that would accept me with open arms, because they go to the same GSA meetings as I do. As for the rest, they really don't know what trans is, they pretty much all think that if you were born a man, you are a man. I guess I can give them the benefit of the doubt for being freshmen? I don't know.
Hmmm, well I might not be as much help, being that I'm the opposite of you; but regardless I can relate to several things. For you, I think you can start shaving your legs. You probably don't want to hear this, but even guys shave their legs. So if you think people might think oddly of you just know that. Plus if you're in any sport you can say you're doing it for that. Also, if you wear jeans/pants a lot no one is really going to tell that you shaved. Trust me, people will think less of a man with no hair on their legs, than a woman with hair on their legs. Please know I'm not calling you a man in anyway! .__. I'm just saying in general. As for growing out your hair, yeah that could be a little tricky, because it's definitely more noticeable. But maybe you can take baby steps. Try to grow it out as long as you can, before someone notices; and then when it comes to getting a haircut, maybe try to find more of a feminine look. I'm not 100% certain of what your situation is, but this is kind of what I did (opposite of course) when I was going through high school, and yet still remained the "girl" everyone thought I was.
Hmm, to be honest I would have thought most people would have better things to do than notice what bits of you have less hair than on previous days. I mean do you spend an awful lot of time with much of your skin exposed? I was worried someone would notice it too when I first started shaving and nobody picked up on it at all. Hell I shaved off my god damn beard and it took a full week before anyone figured out what was different...you could shave basically every bit of you and most people won't realise! As for your hair, I don't know what 'type' of person you are, but long hair on guys isn't exactly uncommon! You could most likely grow it out bit by bit. Other little things...I don't know, try and grow your nails a bit, maybe paint your toenails if that's something you're in to. How much privacy do you have at home? Do you have any opportunity to do stuff alone?
