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Gender Confused

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AuthorUnknown, Jan 19, 2014.

  1. AuthorUnknown

    Regular Member

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    At first I didn't know about gender identity being different then your biological sex. I kniew there where transexuals, but that was about it. Now that I know, I've become gender //confused//. I'm thinking I may be Genderfluid, Genderqueer, or possibly Agender? I have no way to tell though. I'm a pretty guyish girl, but that doesn't have to mean anything. But, see, sometimes I do feel like neither, sometimes I wonder if I may be Transgender, as I feel incredibly guyish. But then there are the times that I act incredibly girly. I just have no idea. I mean, I kind of want to be addressed by gender-neutral pronouns also, but I could do with whatever.
    So, um, help?
    How did you figure out your gender, if you where ever genderconfused?
    I don't know..
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So are you aware of the difference between "gender identity" and "gender expression"? I'm going to assume you're not based on what you said and just explain them a little:

    Gender identity is what we consider our gender to be. So for me, female, for my brother, male, for you, well we don't know yet (although if you weren't considering this we would say female). In essence, it is literally just what we say it is, doesn't matter what's between our legs or how we express it.

    Gender expression on the other hand is how we choose to show our identity to the world, or not if we don't want. It plays a lot on stereotypes so in a moment I'll ask you to think about what they mean to you. But for example, wearing a skirt would commonly be considered as being a form of female expression, where as I don't know, doing a bunch of DIY might be considered male expression. Sometimes the things we do match our identity, others they don't. The point is that they don't DEFINE it.

    I make the distinction that they don't define it, because if a girl happens to be really good at DIY, it doesn't make her a man, any more than a guy wearing a dress makes him a girl. What makes them male or female (or something else) is how they feel inside.

    So first of all, I've always found it helpful to try and write a few things under the following headings (I'll add a couple of example answers so you get an idea of the kind of thing):

    What does being female mean to me?
    -Being cute
    -Skirts!
    -Motherhood
    -Boobs
    What does being male mean to me?
    -NOT being cute
    -Emotionless
    -Scary
    -Trousers

    You will not that while a lot...in fact basically all of my examples there are things that would come under gender expression. You may also note that the things I put in 'female' are mostly positive, where as the things I put in 'male' are mostly negative. Now this wasn't intentional, in fact when I thought about the 'male' section I got really angry. That for me, shows me exactly what I need to know in terms of where my head is at in regards to my gender identity. I can think of positive things for female, and negative things only for male, at least in regard to myself.

    Have a go with it and see what you come up with, and just note down anything you notice about how you feel at the time. If you don't feel anything particular, don't worry, it's just one of a handful of things we can consider!
     
  3. AuthorUnknown

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    I just wasn't really sure where to put this, that's why it's here ^^"
    but thank you, I will do that ^^