Ok, so my wife went to her parents' overnight. She took my 3 girls, but my son had been sick Saturday night, up with stomach flu (which yes, I know it's not flu but gastroenteritis for you smart asses out there! ). So he stayed with me. Lucky for me, he was feeling better and was not needing help to the bathroom andall. We had a nice day together, and was well needed as I work 2nd shift. We rented that Disney "Planes" movie, reviewed his 3-minute math (he's in 1st grade), his spelling and "making words" homework. I let him play Star Wars Angry Birds. And we went and got a few groceries he'd like. I put him to bed, and he told me it was like having Mama time, only I'm Daddy. The "Mama" part almost made me cry! My 7-year-old little boy said that. :eusa_clap Is this a little of him acknowledging my feminine self? Am I reading too much into it? What's a girl to think, gq or otherwise?:icon_sad:
How many of those things do you do with your son when your wife is around? Basically what your son is saying is that today was different to how he usually sees time with you. Today was like spending time with mum. I know a lot of the boys I've worked with over the years have really been attached to their mothers. Spending time with 'dad' is good for doing specific things, perhaps exciting things, spending time with mum tends to be the more everyday stuff that you don't realise how much you love. It seems he felt close to you today, or closer anyway I wouldn't want to try and suggest that you weren't close before! At the very least it puts you in a theoretically good position in relationship terms, because at least you know he likes this side of you.
Ellia, thank you. We don't ever have time together, just the two of us. I work 6-7 day work weeks, and 2nd shift hours (2:30-11:00pm). So I'm at work when he gets out of school, and he's in bed when I get home. But yeah, I did ask him if he thinks I'm weird (I do wear misses attire a lot when I'm not working even if just jeans and tees, and my walk is quite feminine). He said no, which is also encouraging. Maybe he will accept me for who I am. Regardless whom I'm with.
I find children to be particularly accepting people. If nothing else he now has a reason to associate the good feelings of 'mama time' with you. Why shouldn't he associate those same feelings when he discovers you are 'mama' inside.
Have you taught him and your three girls to be loving and open minded and good people? If so you have nothing to fear.
You two are right. Ellia, children are accepting people. Kasey, we do try to teach the children the opposite of the prejudices we were raised with. Racial slurs, homophobia, transphobia, "you're gonna burn in Hell" if you were not white and heteronormative. All the unfortunate things that are still part of life in conservative, small-town Nebraska. No we teach the kids better than that. At least my (soon to be ex) wife does acknowledge my femme self and is needing to part, rather than try to accommodate her "weird man" and just humor me.
(*hug*)Sorry to hear about your wife, at least she is honest with you. Also you keep raising your kids to be upstanding adults.(*hug*)
I'm glad to hear that you're raising your kids to be accepting! That's always a great policy! And it sounds like your son is fairly understanding of you too - it almost sounds like he understands what's going on with you currently, but he just doesn't have the words for it yet and/or knows you by the other words and just hasn't replaced those in his mind yet. I'm very glad it went well for you and I'm sorry to hear about your wife.
