Hi everyone, I'm just looking for advice I guess. I've always wondered about my sexuality and have recently come to terms that I am probably more attracted to women. Well, ever since admitting that I suddenly don't feel as girly anymore. I don't want men to notice me anymore so I don't dress like before. I was a very stereotypical woman and I liked women's clothing. Now I'm thinking about trying on my husband's clothes and possibly even changing my sex...becoming a whole new different person. I recently cut my hair really short and I feel like it makes me look more manly. I don't wear makeup and have always felt inadequate around other women, when I dressed "better" than them, I felt like I was on the same level as them. My husband took me shopping and when i tried on the women's clothes I just didn't feel right anymore. I think I even kind of look like a man with my shorter hair. I'm losing weight cause of this stress and have lost my womanly curves. Sex is horrible, I used to love my womanly parts but now I hate them. I hate getting my period, it reminds me that I am a woman. I feel like I want a penis. I can't picture myself with another woman unless I am a man. I'm 30 btw. Where do I go from here?
It's a personal decision. Going your direction you have to make it sooner, since the effects of testosterone are pretty dramatic. What is your husband's sexual orientation if you don't mind my asking?
Hi Cassie, Should I see a therapist or just go with the flow? I haven't done much research on testosterone but the last thing I want is to make a mistake. Especially since these thoughts are so new.
I think a therapist is a really great way to handle these kinds of questions. I saw one. Well two, the first one I saw to help me sort myself out so I could finish school, the second was the one I got a letter for hormones and surgeries from. They can be pricey if insurance does not cover it. And yeah I agree, this is something I would take my time with. I think you're taking a mature attitude with this. The short story on testosterone, although a doctor could tell you more, is that it will help you build muscle, it will give you more body hair and less head hair, and a deeper voice. All of those things make it very, very difficult if you have to go back to living as a woman for any length of time. Since top surgery is expensive, most guys in that position also spend a long time binding so they have a flat chest. The reason why I asked about your husband is because personally that was the hardest thing for me and my ex. If your husband isn't bisexual, this is going to cause problems. Of course if you can't have sex with him anyway, that's a problem in and of itself. I think it's a good idea to sort through your feelings alone before you do anything else. But I also think when you decide what you need to do, you should have an open minded conversation with your husband about this. It is not going to be easy. If you do have a therapist, this is something else they can help with, they can sit down with both of you when you have that conversation. I really don't want to push you in either direction, but I would be happy to answer any questions you have about anything with transition. Also we have an admin, Brad, that is going the same direction you are that could probably answer any questions I can't.
You will have to meet certain criteria and it will take time (months) till you be allowed to go on a hormonal therapy. At least that's what I think.
I think you should definitely see a therapist before deciding anything and the fact that you say you used to like your body but suddenly feel like this since you realized you like women and that you can't imagine being with a woman as a woman, that could be partly why you feel this way also you say you want to Become a different person transition doesn't make you a different person it just makes you look different. You really need to analyze all the reasons you feel this way because transition is not something to be taken lightly and alot of changes on testosterone are permanent so don't rush into anything until you have talked with a therapist and are sure of yourself and your reasons for transitioning.
Hey, I think you shouldn't rush. You shouldn't do anything irreversible decisions unless you're sure about it. So why won't you just try dressing like a guy, acting more like a guy etc and see how it makes you feel? Since you used to like women's clothing and be happy as a woman, personally I think it would be quite rash to jump into any conclusions after short time of feeling like this. You even say you used to love your womanly parts... Do you think that feeling might return? Then you might regret sex change... Seeing a therapist is a good idea, but don't feel pressured to physically altering your body unless you have seriously thought it out. Good luck with everything and please remember to relax and enjoy the simple good things of life, like food
I went through a lot of the same stuff before realizing that I'm trans. I recommend seeing a therapist before doing anything drastic. You'll have to see a therapist to get hormones. It will take a lot of soul-searching. One of the first things I did was start dressing in men's clothing to see how it made me feel. If you want to do some of that, I say, go for it!
You might be ftm, but you might also be gender queer, androgyne or gender fluid or something else. So research the options and think about it carefully.
surgery and mones are serious stuff the advice gong to seek couseling is the the best course. Dressing would be good as well to get comfortable and to experiment.
I find it a little bit odd how after you figured out that you were into women, your gender identity warped a bit. You don't have to be manly to like women. But after I've continued reading your post, admitting that you're LGBT probably opened up a window that you never thought would opened and thus exploring and figuring things out for yourself. I do agree that you should see a gender therapist. Gender can be very tricky. You don't necessarily need testosterone in order to be trans*, some trans folks are non-op but it is entirely up to you and how comfort YOU will feel. I would take T out of the mind atm and first explore your identity, talk to your husband about it, and then make a decision. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you. Gender is weird and being "awakened" about one's gender can happen at any age, at any time.
