The "Is that a man or a woman?" question

To be honest, I don't think a lot of people are aware that non gender binary people exist. Well at least I didnt until I joined here

 

I think it's just no understanding too.

I find the best way to reply is to say "yes, are you?"

 

Gender is often defined by the society locally.

It is sad that binary genders are the only way humans generally view the sexes. We are moving back to gender parity I'd because of minority groups (I don't mean ethnic) becoming more vocal and prevalent in the world. I have faith in better transgender and transsexual rights in the next decade.

 

Yeah, I think a lot of it stems from a general lack of awareness when it comes to non-binary identities. Most people, to them there's only boys and girls and that's determined based on a penis or a vagina. Lot of people don't know transpeople exist either (or if they do, don't know much about what it really means.)

Even I didn't know about non-binary identities until maybe a year ago and I had to be pretty involved in the LGBT community before I knew anyone who was or what non-binary meant.

So it'll take education and time. I imagine it'll be a few decades before non-binary identities are recognized as equally as we recognize the binary genders but hopefully it'll be sooner as opposed to later. If it's a good sign, I'm able to choose not to disclose my gender on an application, for one, and preferred pronouns are gaining popularity in certain circles, etc.

 

I believe that it is not ok for people to be disgusted about it.
I am gender-fluid so I am a testament to no it isn't the only way gender works for some people it might but not for every one.
The same things it has taken for soceity to become more tolereant of homosexuality and bisexuality people need to be educated about it in school and it needs to be properly explained to people, also laws have to be made to protect all Genderqueer people. I hate the word "Queer" because my parents and grandparents have always used it like they some times do the N word for black people. So I wish that their was an better term than genderqueer because I can't stand the Q word. I actually have flipped out on one of my friends for using that word just recently.

Raises hand..I am Gender-fluid didn't realize Gender-fluid was a word till recently and I use to be in my bubble thinking I was alone and no one else was like me. I have since done research and realized that I am not the only one.

I think it comes down to how society and cultures attempt to demonize it and try to disprove or discredit people who don't want to understand it.
My own best friend thinks I am being goofy for saying I am gender-fluid after years of self-denial and inner confusion, I finally came to accept it and he doesn't really understand it nor does he seem to want to.

I suppose you get to know a different side of people when you reveal things to them.
I always use to bottle things up, I am through with that, I will still behave in public but I am no longer repressing my feelings when I am with my friends, my family has no right to know do to how they would over react, blow it out of proportion and probably yell at me for the rest of my life about it. Though I thought my best friend would understand instantly and he didn't, he even knew I felt gender-fluid before I ever found the word that fits the definition of it.

 

Some people just aren't aware that their are those you exist outside the binary. Some people ask because habit just causes them to try and decide. They don't always have disgust or bad intent... awareness is just too low.

 

People interact with males and females differently. There's a whole set of socially appropriate behaviors that dictate how you treat someone else, and a lot of it is based on gender. Little things, like how close you should stand, if there's body contact at all, what kind of eye contact, fluctuation in dialect - a whole slew of non-verbal and even unconscious behaviors. When someone encounters a person that doesn't fit either construct they are familiar with, they are completely at a loss on how to categorize that person, how to treat them, etc. I think most people want to do the right thing, not offend, and treat said person to make them feel the most comfortable, but they have no idea how.

I read Self-Made Man, and it's a really really insightful book. I'd recommend it because it explains a lot that even I haven't thought about as a trans person.

 

I wouldn't go for the assumption that this is disgust! Sure, it can be that too, but it could be number of other things...
Like, if a person sees someone they can't immediately categorize, they might just feel curious. It could be a fun mystery to solve.
I'm not joking.

And then, there is the whole pronoun-thing. In my language there are no he/she, just one pronoun, so that is not a problem here. But in a lot of the world you may end up hurting someone's feelings if you miscategorize... So it may just be politeness.

So I wouldn't straight expect it to be something negative...

 

This.

I think it's mostly just that people don't know there's anything outside the gender binary. In fact, a lot of people I know didn't even know there was a difference between sex and gender until I explained it to them. Some of them still don't get it.

 

This sums it up pretty well I think.

 

if i was to ask that question it would be only so i wouldn't offend them. i never heard of gender fluid till recently have looked up ALOT of terms on the internet.